Friday, December 21, 2012

Movie Review: The Hobbit


We geek out over LOTR at my house. We're obviously nerdy enough to use an acronym (Lord of the Rings). But, I'm afraid it gets worse than acronyms folks. We watched all three movies on our week long honeymoon because I hadn't seen them all the way through and they are so "epic" (my husband has since repented). He even took his capstone course in college on Tolkien and logged a few hours playing the video game as home work. 

When he heard Peter Jackson was making a new movie adaptation of the Hobbit, the prequel to LOTR,   I'm sure my husband lost sleep. The question to be asked was not if we would see it in theaters, but how many times. 

So, I've definitely seen it. And all of the "making of" films. And read the book in preparation. If I'm not qualified to give a pear shaped review at this point, heaven help the woman who is. 


Eye candy: -1




Hairy hobbit feet, braided dwarf beards, drooling trolls, pus-pocked gremlins, slimy golum, fleshy orks,  and in general a lack of Orlando Bloom as Legolas really do anything but get me goin'. Call me vain, call my picky, but please don't call me Friday night if you are of the above mentioned creatures.


The Hobbit 46

The one redeeming handsome fellow of the lot gets minuscule screen time. I recommend gazing at your own handsome fellow when you need a break from the ugly. 

Acting: 9

All the creatures filled the measure of their creation. Definitely believable...well, if you believe in fantasy characters that is. 

Inspirational Moments: 7


It will be no surprise that I cried three times during the movie. Even if you're not a bawl-baby, I think you'd be moved in several scenes by the bravery, courage, and selflessness exhibited. 
[One wizard] believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay... small acts of kindness and love. Why [bring] Bilbo Baggins [with us]? That's because I am afraid and it gives me courage. -Gandalf
Cinematography: 8

The director shot the movie using double the number of frames per second than any other movie ever created. That means it is clear, super clear. Action shots are easy to watch without getting a headache or lost and you feel like you can reach out and touch the characters. This feature will only be available in theaters so if you like that kind of thing, go now. 

Costuming: 10



The work that went into building these characters is unreal. I'm thinking that the whole braid trend of late is going to hop aboard the men's ship this year after this movie. We looked up all the actors who played the characters and they are nearly unrecognizable under all the make-up.

Length: 3 or 10

This really depends on which camp you're in. The movie is 169 minutes long (2.8 hours). If you are in love with the story you'll soak in every detail and immediately begin making a paper chain to count down the second movie's release. If you are married to a LOTR nerd and have vowed to support him in all things, including fantasy sickness and health, you'll go enjoy the good parts and check your watch repeatedly wondering all the while if your baby is surviving the babysitter. 

Overall: 7 (don't hate me husband)

For most readers I'd probably recommend you send your husband with your sons, fathers, friends, and uncles on their merry way while you head joyfully to the mall. It's good. It's worth the money. It's long and if you don't love this sort of thing, you can probably stand to wait for Redbox. 

1 comment:

  1. Great review! I love the paper chain bit, I'm totally a paper chain girl.

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