Saturday, August 4, 2012

Parenting Other Parents' Children

How do you feel when another parent steps in to parent your child?  I'm not talking about those people who throw out random, unwanted advise.   I'm talking about those people who correct your child for you when you missed them doing something naughty.  You know...those people like me.

Twice this week I've done it.  And twice this week I didn't feel bad about all.  Because when it comes down to it, if your kid pushes my kid or takes toys out of my kid's hand, even if they are only two-years-old, and you don't do anything about it, well, I'm going to.  Now, it's not like I take this kid over to the corner to issue him a timeout in a public place, I just sternly (and sometimes loudly enough so his nearby mother can hear) say "hey, don't do that."  Then, if they do it again, I usually stare at the mother for a minute and then say, "hey, stop it."  In hopes that she'll see what's going on.  

Personally, I like it when other moms do this for me.  Because as much as I try to keep my eyes on my children at all times, there are some things that just escape my notice.  But, how do you feel about it?  Would you rather they come up and tell you that your child did something bad and then you can handle it from there?  I feel like that whole process is just way to long and getting after my child about the offense at that point is almost counterproductive.  It's like, "remember that time 15 minutes ago when you hit that kid on the head?  Well, that was bad.   Don't do it again."  And your kid is like, "what are you even talking about?  I'm playing superheros right now.  Are you sure I hit someone?" And then I'm thinking, "Oh, maybe it was just a hug."  And suddenly my child is no longer a hitter, but a kind, gentle soul who only hugs people and trees.  You see...counterproductive.

Anyway, I'm just wondering how you all feel about it?


  1. It truly depends on how it's done and if my kid iphas actually done something wrong. I've had someone totally yell at my child for throwing an earthworm. You read it right, an earthworm. And she literally screamed/yelled at my 2 year old. Sorry, but I don't even yell at my kids. I didn't talk to this person for a really long time, and that was not the only incident. If you yell at your kids, that's up to you and what you feel is the appropriate conduct for teaching your kids. I however, do not treat my kids that way and I would expect other people to either respect me enough or my kids to not treat them that way.

    Now, if my kid did something like hit another kid without my seeing it, yes, I would appriciate another mom stepping in and letting him know that was wrong, then maybe she could come and tell me she did so? Most of the time we only do group play dates with friends so we all tend to mother/monitor each others kids.

    There was a time where I did have to put some stranger's kid in his place because he was just being downright nasty to everyone, it was obnoxious and the parent could have cared less. Needless to say, the kid steered clear of our group for the remainder of our time there.

    So yes, I'm okay with it if it's done properly. ; )

  2. I'm with Natalie - if my child is being rude or naughty and I don't catch it then I'm fine with someone else getting after him. However, when people get after him for doing something that is not bad and I'm sitting in the room then I'm not okay with that.