You know when you have a feeling about something but you can't believe it is actually true, so you ignore the feeling? Well, I am guilty, guilty, guilty of ignoring feelings and impressions.
A little over 3 months ago, I felt an impression that we should get pregnant. I ignored that feeling. I ignored it like the plague. It wasn't time. I wasn't ready. Apparently it was time. I found out I was pregnant a month later. I actually couldn't sleep because I was worried that I was pregnant, so I got up at 4 am and took a test just so I could go back to sleep. Well, a positive pregnancy test at 4 am means that you don't get to go back to sleep. My husband was ecstatic. I was a mess. A week or two later, I got sick. Like deathbed sick. So sick that my kids destroyed the house while I kept my head in the toilet for 23 hours a day. Then I had a feeling that it was twins. I thought, "One baby would never make me this sick! There has got to be two in there!" But, again, I ignored that feeling because I would never have twins. That is ridiculous. Then I had a dream about twins. Then my belly started getting abnormally large. I just attributed that to the 3rd pregnancy. Finally, I went to my first OB appointment. My husband couldn't go with me. He had to work and said, "Meh, it's the 3rd baby. Just bring the ultrasound picture home".
The Dr. started the ultrasound and said, "So, you said you have 2 boys at home?"
Me: "Yes. 4 and 18 months."
Dr: "Well, how do you feel about two girls?"
Me: "Ha! Not two girls. Just this one baby, then we are done. Wait, did you say two? As in two are already in there?"
Dr: "You have twins!"
Me: "I knew it!"
Dr: "You did?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought I was just having crazy person thoughts! Are you sure? That only looks like one to me. I think you are doing it wrong. You are just showing me the front and back of the same baby."
Dr: "No, I'm doing it right. Here is another view. See? TWO. Here is Baby A's heartbeat, and here is Baby B's heartbeat."
Me: "Oh, crap."
Then I went catatonic. I just sat there with my mouth agape. The nurse kept asking if I was ok and I kept telling her no. I think she almost took my car keys away. I walked to my car in shock. The Dr. told me to plan a big announcement for my husband and really surprise him. All I could do was call him sobbing. He answered the phone, heard the hysterics and said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry. Could they not find a heartbeat?" Me: "No, they found TWO heartbeats!" Husband, "WAHOO, this is awesome!!! Wait....why are you crying?"
(Now before you judge me and think I'm a horrible person, put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Two babies. That means you give birth twice (in one day). There are two babies to feed. There are two babies to change. There are two babies to wake up with at night. There are two babies to send on missions at the same time. There are two babies to get the flu. There are two babies that need to be soothed when crying.....I think you get the point. Plus, there are already two older brothers. )
Now a month has passed since we found out. I am warming up to the idea of twins. Looking at newborn pictures of twins has helped a lot. Could they be more darling? So, my belly is huge. My emotions are double a regular pregnancy. I'm not sleeping at all. But, I did learn my lesson. Heavenly Father, I will not ignore impressions. Please don't try to make a point again anytime soon.