Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Never Ignore an Impression


You know when you have a feeling about something but you can't believe it is actually true, so you ignore the feeling?  Well, I am guilty, guilty, guilty of ignoring feelings and impressions. 

A little over 3 months ago, I felt an impression that we should get pregnant.  I ignored that feeling.  I ignored it like the plague. It wasn't time.  I wasn't ready.  Apparently it was time.  I found out I was pregnant a month later.  I actually couldn't sleep because I was worried that I was pregnant, so I got up at 4 am and took a test just so I could go back to sleep.  Well, a positive pregnancy test at 4 am means that you don't get to go back to sleep.  My husband was ecstatic.  I was a mess.  A week or two later, I got sick.  Like deathbed sick.  So sick that my kids destroyed the house while I kept my head in the toilet for 23 hours a day.  Then I had a feeling that it was twins.  I thought, "One baby would never make me this sick!  There has got to be two in there!"  But, again, I ignored that feeling because I would never have twins.  That is ridiculous.  Then I had a dream about twins.  Then my belly started getting abnormally large.  I just attributed that to the 3rd pregnancy.   Finally, I went to my first OB appointment.  My husband couldn't go with me.  He had to work and said, "Meh, it's the 3rd baby.  Just bring the ultrasound picture home". 

The Dr. started the ultrasound and said, "So, you said you have 2 boys at home?"
Me: "Yes.  4 and 18 months."
Dr: "Well, how do you feel about two girls?"
Me: "Ha!  Not two girls.  Just this one baby, then we are done.  Wait, did you say two?  As in two are already in there?"
Dr: "You have twins!"
Me: "I knew it!"
Dr: "You did?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought I was just having crazy person thoughts! Are you sure?  That only looks like one to me.  I think you are doing it wrong. You are just showing me the front and back of the same baby."
Dr: "No, I'm doing it right.  Here is another view.  See?  TWO.  Here is Baby A's heartbeat, and here is Baby B's heartbeat."
Me: "Oh, crap."

Then I went catatonic.  I just sat there with my mouth agape.  The nurse kept asking if I was ok and I kept telling her no.  I think she almost took my car keys away.  I walked to my car in shock.  The Dr. told me to plan a big announcement for my husband and really surprise him.  All I could do was call him sobbing.  He answered the phone, heard the hysterics and said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry.  Could they not find a heartbeat?"  Me: "No, they found TWO heartbeats!"  Husband, "WAHOO, this is awesome!!!  Wait....why are you crying?"

(Now before you judge me and think I'm a horrible person, put yourself in my shoes for a minute.  Two babies.  That means you give birth twice (in one day).  There are two babies to feed.  There are two babies to change.  There are two babies to wake up with at night.  There are two babies to send on missions at the same time.  There are two babies to get the flu.  There are two babies that need to be soothed when crying.....I think you get the point.  Plus, there are already two older brothers. )

Now a month has passed since we found out.  I am warming up to the idea of twins.  Looking at newborn pictures of twins has helped a lot.  Could they be more darling?  So, my belly is huge.  My emotions are double a regular pregnancy.  I'm not sleeping at all.  But, I did learn my lesson. Heavenly Father,  I will not ignore impressions.  Please don't try to make a point again anytime soon.


  1. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. :) And your belly is far from huge!

  2. I'm certainly no expert since I don't have twins, but I've watched all my siblings raise multiple children, and then I watched my brother raise twins. SO, my second-hand opinion is this:

    The first 18 months with twins is really terrible. All the feeding/sleeplessness/etc is magnified by like 10, not just two.

    But then after 18 months it seems much easier to have two kids the same age than it does to have two kids that are close in age. The twins will be at the same stages at the same time, which seems to make things easier. Even potty training two seemed to go better than potty training one.

    Again...just an outsider's opinion.

    Peter and I were SO wanted twins based on what we've seen with our ten-million nieces and nephews. We're totally jealous of you guys!

    Oh, and you should know that my bro and SIL wanted a second set of twins so bad and were disappointed when they just got one baby the second time around. :)

  3. Linz's twinses! I totally wanted twins last time; two babies for one pregnancy, seems like a good deal to me! Can't wait for more posts on life with multiples. Congrats!!!

  4. You'll be okay. It's hard to imagine now, but you'll get through it especially being so tuned to Heavenly Father's promptings. You've got a great mom, I'm sure she'll come out and help you. Prayers being sent your way, Sweet friend.

  5. Jealous rage. Maybe I'm ignorant because I've never had a baby but I've always wanted twin girls. If you need someone to adopt them.... Haha. Just kidding. Congratulations.

  6. lindsey! congratulations! we are so excited for you guys! i can imagine what a shock it was but you're going to be great! i've always wanted twins! :) just think about how cute they will be!

  7. Beautiful post, Lindsay. So excited for you! Just read this great post on Motherhood http://segullah.org/daily-special/supposed-to-be-hard/

  8. Congrats!!! We're so excited for you guys! You'll be amazing. It will be hard but they're so worth it. I loved this post! Loved it! Congrats!

  9. I have been having nightmares about having twins. As great and fabulous as it would be, it is also incredibly terrifying. I do not want twins, and single babies are enough for me! I'm sure it will end up being just fine and you will love it. It will be hard, but there are so many awesome things about it!

  10. Please post picture of your belly. I know that sounds pretty weird. I also would prefer not to have twins but it would be great to live though you!
    I'm a friend of Natalies and I just love reading your posts. I feel like you post about my own life but make it sound way more entertaining than it feels to live it.

  11. Wait a second... Are you saying these babies are girls? Ahhhhhh!!!

    1. They don't know what they are yet. Just the Dr. getting my attention :)