There was a time my husband and I knew everything about each other, you know, back when we were dating and there was still a hint of mystery. One day during this period, we were eating lunch in a shopping centre food court. Now let me just preface this story to tell you that I usually can’t tell this story without gagging profusely. So I will most likely be gagging as I type this. Too much information? You’re welcome.The food court was incredibly busy. There were only a few free seats so we weren’t able to leave the usual ‘buffer’ by keeping a table free in between us and the nearest people. We sat down at a table next to a Mum with her two kids. My husband and I were sitting across from each other, so if I looked to the left of him I could see one of the children. It was a little boy, about age 6. He was a cute kid, at first glance.
At second glance, I saw my arch nemesis. Snot.
There was no third glance. I didn’t look back at him. But I knew it was there. It was taunting me, but I was able to ignore it just enough to chat cautiously with my husband and begin eating my food.
A few seconds later, I heard what is the worst sound in the world. Worse than fingers down a chalkboard. I heard that gross, slobbery sound as the little kid sniffed up the big green booger and swallowed it.That was it for me. I was out of there.
My husband had missed the whole interaction and was baffled. He hadn’t noticed the kid and the sea cucumber hanging from his nose. He didn’t hear the room shake as the kid sniffed. And, he didn’t yet know of my issue with the green gremlin. He followed me, wondering what he had done to make me storm off like that. When I finally got out enough of the story, mid gag, for him to understand all he did was laugh. What else could you do?
Needless to say, this is quite the problem with a toddler. Kids are gross.