Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Thing About Love

When you are away from your children for more that two days do you start to miss them?  Do you feel sad when you see other mothers with their children while you’re away?  Did you or will you cry when your first child goes to Kindergarten?

If answering ‘yes’ to these questions are the prequalifications for good mothers,  then I am second-rate at best.

Once, my sister-in-law asked me (before I went on an overnighter with my husband sans kids) if it was hard for me to leave my babies for the night?  I answered:  “Nope, easiest decision I ever made.”

Whilst in Utah without my kids or husband, I held my eight month old niece so my sister-in-law could eat her dinner.  Upon doing so, someone said, “Oh, looks like Jami is missing her babies”.  I then replied, “nope, not really.  I just know how hard it is to eat dinner when you’ve got an eight month old to manage at the same time.” 

Now, that isn’t to say I don’t think about them and love them while I’m gone.  Because I do.  I miss the always obedient and non tantrum version of them.  But generally speaking, I love people better when I get to be away from them every now and then.  

Many years ago I traveled with a group of friend and acquaintances on a church history tour.  We were together 24 hours a day for three weeks straight….I did not like those people after about four days.  (I like them now though, since I’ve had a little bit of time away from them J)

Then there is the matter of my husband.  I love him.  But if I had to be with him 24 hours a day, I would not like him very much.  But when he's gone on the late shift at work I don't really feel bad.  I like having a little time to myself at night.  Mostly I just miss his help with the kids.  Because nothing says love like a little help.

So, when I returned home from Utah and my husband said, "I missed you and love you, but what I really love and missed is your help.”  I knew it really was true love :) 


  1. And I thought it was just the holding hands and singing that you didn't like on the church history tour.

  2. Sounds to me like your love language is "acts of service". I'm a quality timer myself which just seems to translate into attachment issues. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the one crying, pleading, and pulling on my little one's skirt as she prances off to nursery. Unfortunately for me, sometimes it's "out of sight, out of mind."

  3. I hear you Jami although I really do miss them after about 2 days, at that point, I'm ready to return to them. I love me some alone time too which is why my 7:00 bedtime is still in full force and my kid is 6. Although I now tell her that she can read until it gets too dark. I know, call DCFS.

  4. Ha ha HA the HT commment is bringing back oh so many good memories. I am glad you still like me JAmi! I am with you time away it great and makes me a better wife and mother!