Monday, June 18, 2012
Real Time Bachelorette (June 18th Episode)
Before we begin a little internet research has led me to some shocking photos of Emily's men. Here's a little comparison of Arie and Sean:
I think Sean is now my favorite guy. Just sayin'...
8:00-A cat in Croatia is a weird opening shot. Travis is "freakin' pumped" to be here tonight. Travis Eggman gets a one on one. I see no sparks at all. Emily tells the camera that she wants to see Trav with his shirt off. She's only human (see the beginning of this post). Hold up...what is with the tank top that Gaston is wearing. Gaston is talking about his bad boy edge, although that tank top looks like my new tankini.
8:12- Gosh, another boring date. Travis tells Emily that he hasn't been on a date in two years. That egg thing is suddenly making more sense. The guys are sitting around waiting for a date card. Gaston is getting a one on one. HERE WE GO! Can we fast forward to that date? Sorry Trav. No rose tonight. Emily is a great breaker upper. If I were still dating I'd take notes. Travis is so depressed that he took it out on an umbrella. Then cried. Seriously! It was your first date! Come on!
8:25- Group date to see Brave. Hey producers, I'm still bored! The men dress in skirts. Let's see who looks best in their twinner kilts. I'm going to go with Sean (see the beginning of this post).
8:32-Competition begins. Who will take it? I'm going to go with Sean (see beginning of this post). Men in kilts on donkey's...ouch. (too crass? sorry) Chris the Kid has no game in this competition. He's surprisingly weak. Sean breaks his log in half. (see beginning of this post). Although I don't appreciate Sean's brag afterwards. Emily gives the bravery cup to Chris the Kid for being the weakest and most uncoordinated. She's coddling him...this is not good for his future on the show. I give Chris the Kid one more week.
8:43- Awkward group date party. Time with Sean. Time with Arie. I still like Arie (despite the hairdo he sported in '03, see beginning of this post), and Emily still likes Arie. Cue love music. Gaston loves hanging out alone apparently...and looking at himself in the mirror...and spiking his hair. Time with One F Jef. Cue love music. Time with Chris the Kid. Oh wait! He's getting love music? AND A ROSE? Oh come on, Emily! Don't coddle! You know he's 25 and not 10, right? She's way nicer than I am.
8:57-OK. Here goes. Gaston's one on one. Let's count how many times he brags or calls Emily an objectifying name. Emily is the pearl (name 1); never gets in accidents (brag 1); God chooses his women (brag 2); trophy wife (name 2); she's gotta love him (brag 3). Count to be continued...
9:07- She's a princess (name 3); trophy wife again (name 4); she'll be his trophy wife (brag 4); he's a great date planner (brag 5); trophy wife again (name 5); 12 Quality List (all kinds of names ...crap, I'm losing count!!!). No rose for Gaston. He didn't see himself not getting a rose (brag 6); he's just right for her (brag 7). OH EMILY!!!! You're really going to let him talk you into a rose!! COME ON! WE ARE ALL SHOUTING AT THE SCREEN! (Although, what would these posts be like without Gaston...on second thought, keep this guy around!)
9:18- One F Jef gives us some funny talking heads. He's growing on me. Arie doesn't think Gaston is getting a rose, and he's ready to tattle if he does. EMILY, COME ON!! STOP PULLING US AROUND...and finally, goodbye Gaston. This show won't be the same without you!! We will all miss you dearly. Among the greatest men of the world (brag 8); blessed with worldly gifts (brag 9).
9:30- Arie's thinking about pulling the Michelle Money unauthorized nighttime visit. Was that the cat again?! K- Arie you've got to be careful here, you don't want to come off as too eager. Well, I think we could just end the show now. Emily loves this rogue behavior. Is Arie going grey? Quick poll: Grey hair? Rugged handsome dude or old man?
9:40- Cocktail party. I love that Emily just tells us who she's thinking about sending home. Nice! I hate surprises. Oh no, John is crying. Is Emily done coddling for one episode? Wow, John went in for the kiss. Daddy Doug? Where have you been this week? This isn't going great for him. Are the guys collectively talking about making moves on Emily? That's weird. Doug is crying. CHRIS HARRISON! Funny seeing you here!
9:52- Crunch time. Doug and John talking about who will go. My money is on both of them. (I saw that weird preview). Chris Harrison gives his non-essential speech. Oh, ABC! You pulled a fast one on us there. She is still coddling tonight, so both stay! But really, Emily, these guys only have one more episode right?
Until next time.
Oh wait, Arie had a relationship with a producer! (J/K, my sister already told me that 2 weeks ago.) The plot thickens...