Saturday, June 2, 2012

Are You a Miserable Parent?

My husband was at work the other day sitting with several other co-workers when one of them said,

"I read in an article that the number one indicator of miserable people is that they have children."

I have no idea what study he is getting this information from nor do I know of the article. When my husband came home and told me what this gentleman said, what was my first reaction?

I laughed. My husband laughed. Then we looked at the cheerios all over the floor and heard some fighting words from upstairs, and we laughed some more. In fact this comment had me laughing at my life all through the weekend.

The gentleman in question has chosen not to have children, but has dogs. We all know how I feel about dogs, so had I been there, I may have told him the macing story and laughed heartily right in his face. (And btw, how rude is it to mention this study to people with kids, although according to my husband, he was rather serious and not trying to be rude.)

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that kids are happy, lovely, perfect little bundles of joy all the least mine aren't. I mean, does this gentleman's life (minus the dogs) seem better than mine a lot of the time. Yes, it does. He goes where he wants to go, he vacations with ease, his laundry is probably 1/8 of the size of mine, he eats at restaurants that don't have cheese pizza, he probably sleeps in at least on the weekends, he doesn't wipe noses, change diapers, or clean up daily spills. Nor does he smell like spoiled milk after being spit up on multiple times. I could go on.

But here's the thing, I could also go on about the lessons I've learned being a parent and I'm only on year 6. Is there value in having to sacrifice? I believe there is. Not only that, but there's also a tremendous amount of joy that comes from sacrifice. Are there better days in this life than seeing your child graduate, finish a mission, go to the temple, or achieve their goals? Getting kids there takes work and time and effort, but the rewards can't be bought with anything else. I have to believe that there are goals to what I am doing and that they are important. Life isn't just about me and that means something.

Not only that, but dogs don't give you grandkids, which is the only reason any of us became parents to begin with, right? Nor do they wrap their chubby arms around you and tell you they love you unprovoked. (Those hugs are my daily fuel.)

And lest you think that dogs don't put a dent in the ol' pocket book, guess how much this guy pays someone to walk his dogs daily for an hour each day? $7000/year!! I think I'm in the wrong business.

That is, until I remember that I hate dogs and I love my kids.


  1. Well, I have had miserable parenting moments. Times when I just want to get away. So, I guess sometimes I am miserable. But I have found when the kids are gone, I am miserable without them. So maybe some of us are just more miserable than others.

  2. I don't love dogs but I like them enough to walk this guys dog for 7 G's a year! Then I could get all the cosmetic surgery I need as a result of bearing these kids I love. It's a win win :)

  3. Get ready to run out of daily fuel then. Year 12. No daily hugs. Love ya for thinking that's why you had em! (we both know the grand kids argument is the one that holds water. And don't be surprised when you turn the corner on dogs. You need to get your kids about 15 years ahead, and your attractiveness there too. Then, you may Say to he k with humans! (probably not)

  4. Oh. I forgot one thing: you may not even be able to recognize yourself after your kids hijack your blogger profile, your body, your vehicle, your conversations, your snacks, your accessories, even the very bed in which you sleep! Take a cue from the blogger formerly known as Shelley. Avoid the misery by standing your ground. It's all fun n games until they figure out that you are the only person standing in the way of their every whim.