Saturday, June 30, 2012

My White Collar Redneck Husband

If you were to meet my husband you might think he's a regular city slicker. Although I think the fact that I just used the term city slicker shows right off that neither of us are city slickers because I'm sure a real city slicker never refers to his self as such. Anyway, back to the husband. He works as an accountant, 6 days of the week he's in a long sleeve button up dress shirt, he spikes his hair up, and he uses gel. See what I mean? City slicker.

However, most Saturday morning you can find him riding horses or building fences, sometimes at 3 a.m. he's outside irrigating the pasture, his 4th love (after me and the children) is his pickup truck, his ideal weekend includes camping, he owns more camouflage clothes than I care to mention, and he (okay, we) use a Cabela's credit card.

Which is why it came as no surprise that when we brought our firstborn home from the hospital the first thing my husband did was take the baby out to the field to introduce him to the horses. Sweet right?

That isn't to say my husband is always good with kids. Some things he did were downright perplexing (and sometimes aggravating). Like the time he picked up my 8 month old nephew who was sitting on the floor and asked me if he needed to support his neck. Or the time when I asked him to stay up with our 3-week old baby until 1:00 a.m. so I could get some much needed sleep and he brought him in at 11:30 p.m. because he was "so tired." Never mind that I was nursing the baby and had gotten up with him every 3 hours for the past 3 weeks. Or when he was in charge of watching our 9 month old son all day and when I walked in the house at 4:00 p.m. they were both sitting on the couch, staring at the T.V. and were still in their pajamas.  Or when he took my son camping two weeks ago, let him stay up until 1:00 a.m., and then wondered why he was whiny the next day.

But more often than not he's the fun dad taking them out for ice cream, letting them run around and get dirty, planning family vacations, taking them out to feed the horses, going for rides on the bike, etc.

So while I agree with basically the whole world that babies are miracles I think a bigger miracle may be that boys who know nothing about babies and have seemingly no innate nurturing traits turn out to be such great dads.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Morning Incoherence

Once upon a time I only had one child.  Those were simpler times.  Those were the days when I made my own piñatas and baked goods.  Now I look to store bought goods and mass produced piñatas.   These are more complicated/stressful times...but way more fun.  

I owe it to my husband for making our family life so much fun.  If it was just me and the kids, we'd all be sitting at the table, coloring black and white pictures of coffee tables, eating rice cakes and  squeezing orange stress balls.  He on the other hand, brings out the funny/fun in our everyday lives guiding us to a level of laughter I could never achieve on my own.  

One particular morning, back when I was the parent to only one child, the husband brought out some exuberant laughter at an hour in the day when laughter is rarely seen from a mom with a newborn baby.  The story goes like this:

One morning, around 3AM the baby woke up to be fed. Husband and I made the early morning feeding a team effort. Husband changed the diaper while I got a bottle ready. However, for some reason, this morning, Husband was under the impression that we had two babies. When I tapped him on the shoulder informing him it was "time to change baby boy's diaper", he popped out of bed and asked me "Which baby do I need to change?". I told him unless he wanted to toss me on the changing pad and wipe my butt then...well...we only have one baby who needed changing. And it wasn't me.

So, as is demonstrated by this story, he not only is hilarious at 3 o'clock in the morning, but he helps me when I need it, changes smelly diapers, is a great dad, and does what I ask him to do :)  

Oh man, I am one lucky gal :)

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Noob

This whole newborn thing has been quite the learning experience for the both my husband and I. Especially in the vocab department--Bumbos and Boppys are often called boopys and bumpys at our house.

That is why when my husband told me the following story, we couldn't stop laughing:

When our baby was 2 weeks old we braved the outside world for a concert my husband's co-worker invited us to. I'm breastfeeding so when my daughter got hungry at the end of the concert I carted her out to the car for dinner. 

She has quite the magnetic personality so naturally, after the concert, the coworker's family wanted to come see her. They started walking towards the car so my husband, ever the protector of modesty and decency, leaped out and ran towards them warning, "we'll have to meet up with you later, she's milking right now."



They were legitimately startled.

Thanks love. 

Livestock are milked, human mother's usually nurse or even breastfeed (if you're a man brave enough to utter (or udder..) the anatomically correct term).

I've got to hand it to him though, my husband is my baby's greatest advocate--for milking, memory making and everything in between. What would we do without these men?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Babies Are Boring

My husband could possibly be one of the smartest people I know.  He knows more random facts than I knew possible.  He loves to read and research and he is always up to date on current affairs.  For the most part of our marriage he has been in school.  He will spend days on one subject until he feels like he is an expert.  He loves to sit down with me and explain some foreign concept that I would never in a million years be interested in understand.  I love his brain. 

My husband also loves kids.  He really wanted to start having kids right away.  We are talking a honeymoon baby.  I was not on board.  So, when I got pregnant with our first baby, he was over the moon.  I was scared because I didn't know anything about babies.  I read book after book researching everything about pregnancy, labor and newborns.  I figured my husband would do the same since he loves to research and learn.  I gave him a few books to read and he said, "You already read these.  Can't you just summarize them for me?"  I couldn't believe it.  He thought he was already an expert.

I only had a few weeks left of my pregnancy when my husband said, "I can't wait until he gets here!  I already have some hikes planned and maybe a camping trip!  He is going to be so much fun!"  My reply was, "You realize I'm not giving birth to an 8 year old, right?  He is going to be tiny this summer.  He won't even be able to hold his head up, let alone go hiking."  My husband was devastated.  He had such high hopes for the summer.

When we brought the baby home from the hospital my husband just sat and stared at him.  He finally said, "Is this all he does? Sleep and eat? Babies are really boring."  Later on that day I was looking through the camera and found this picture...



I asked what he had been doing and he said, "I was just trying to make him a little more interesting by helping him make funny faces."

He is right.  Babies are boring.  However, he would have known that if he would have used that beautiful brain to read the books I gave him. 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

An Ode to The Husband

It's husband week, and I know that many of you think that you married the best guy, which is probably true for you, but I know that I married the best guy for me. I really really really married way out of my league. I don't know how I pulled it off either. Well actually, I explained how I pulled it off here quite accurately. No one gets me like my husband gets me. If I had one piece of advice for someone trying to find a person to marry I'd say to find someone that you like as much as you love. I really like my husband. We are as happy hanging out on the couch watching TV or talking together as we are going out on the town. He makes my life easy.

I love a lot about him, but one thing I love is that he knows relatively NOTHING about girl stuff. (That explains this post and this post) Yet he understands my need for girl stuff completely.

On my 27th birthday, I was rather pregnant (like due in 2 weeks) with my second child. When you are that pregnant, there is not a lot of celebrating going on. My husband got me a great gift: A gift card for a full day spa package. When I opened it, the following conversation happened:

Me: Perfect! What does a full day spa package include?
Him: They told me you get a massage, your fingers painted, a facial, and I think you get a footcial too.
Me: A what?
Him: A footcial. You know where they paint your toenails.
Me: Do you mean a pedicure?
Him: Whatever.

A footcial. Never have I loved him more.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Husband Week

Aren’t husbands amazing? We’re pretty lucky to have an opportunity to share our lives with someone. And thank heavens we get to seal ourselves to them or they might just run away when we’re crazy hormonal and pregnant.

This week on Pear Shaped Thoughts we are having a tribute to our husbands. We love and appreciate them and so it’s time to celebrate the men that make our lives complete. This way, we make like Jerry Maguire and say ‘You complete me’ in blog form. 

So… Welcome to Husband Week!

Let me kick of the week with a little story that shows how amazing my husband is.
When I was about 11 weeks pregnant I got really sick. I had extreme cramping in my stomach region and because I couldn’t tell if it was stomach pain or uterus pain, we were concerned that something might be wrong with the baby. As any prospective parent might do, we hopped into the car to travel to the emergency room.

As we drove, my sickness increased. I think the movement of the car was making me feel worse. Bumpy car and writhing pain are apparently not friends. Soon, I began to feel like I might throw up. My husband asked if I needed him to pull over, but I assured him I was handing it with ‘mind power’. That only lasted so long.  
Eventually it overcame me and I screeched ‘Pull over!!’ But it was too late. We couldn’t make it. We were on a stretch of road with no shoulder. So, to save the car, my husband sacrificed a prized possession. His hat. Yes, that’s right. He took his brand new, football supporting, perfect, highly loved hat from his head and handed it to his writhing in pain wife and said ‘Here, use this.’ I did.

I promised to buy him a new one. I still haven’t.
I should probably rectify that.

See? Husbands are wonderful.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Thing About Love

When you are away from your children for more that two days do you start to miss them?  Do you feel sad when you see other mothers with their children while you’re away?  Did you or will you cry when your first child goes to Kindergarten?

If answering ‘yes’ to these questions are the prequalifications for good mothers,  then I am second-rate at best.

Once, my sister-in-law asked me (before I went on an overnighter with my husband sans kids) if it was hard for me to leave my babies for the night?  I answered:  “Nope, easiest decision I ever made.”

Whilst in Utah without my kids or husband, I held my eight month old niece so my sister-in-law could eat her dinner.  Upon doing so, someone said, “Oh, looks like Jami is missing her babies”.  I then replied, “nope, not really.  I just know how hard it is to eat dinner when you’ve got an eight month old to manage at the same time.” 

Now, that isn’t to say I don’t think about them and love them while I’m gone.  Because I do.  I miss the always obedient and non tantrum version of them.  But generally speaking, I love people better when I get to be away from them every now and then.  

Many years ago I traveled with a group of friend and acquaintances on a church history tour.  We were together 24 hours a day for three weeks straight….I did not like those people after about four days.  (I like them now though, since I’ve had a little bit of time away from them J)

Then there is the matter of my husband.  I love him.  But if I had to be with him 24 hours a day, I would not like him very much.  But when he's gone on the late shift at work I don't really feel bad.  I like having a little time to myself at night.  Mostly I just miss his help with the kids.  Because nothing says love like a little help.


So, when I returned home from Utah and my husband said, "I missed you and love you, but what I really love and missed is your help.”  I knew it really was true love :) 

Friday, June 22, 2012

Thankless Job

Have you ever taken a technical writing class? I have. For me the class opened my eyes to a whole new world of jobs I would never like to have. For the final class project we had to write an instruction manual and let me tell you--it was a page turner (but only if you're trying to assemble a cabinet and your husband isn't home).

Have you ever thought of those poor souls who dedicate their lives to detailing instructions or disclaimers on packaging? Their greatest writings will never be adapted for the big screen, nor will the ever will the Pulitzer. Where is their reward?


I'll tell you.

It has GOT to be in writing caution statements.

I recently purchased a package of Huggies Little Swimmers diapers, and because I feel bad for technical writers, I read the package (or maybe I was just a tiny bit bored and stranded).



This is what is says:

Choking may result for anything children put into their mouths.

Like most clothing, pants can burn. 

Do not expect swim pants to prevent the transmission of diseases.

Really? How do they write this stuff with a straight face?

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Man With the Voice

I have had a lot of relaxing, down time for the past two weeks which usually leads to unproductive, random thoughts in my brain.  This is why lazy summer days make kids forget everything they learned in school that year.  Thought of the week?  Which celebrity has the best voice?

I think that a voice can make or break a man.  I love my husband's voice.  I love when he wakes up in the morning and it is extra deep and scratchy.  If he were a celebrity, I would pick him.  But, he isn't.  So, here I enlist your expertise to help me decide and end my idle thoughts. Who has the sexiest voice in Hollywood?

1.  Colin Firth - Of course we are talking Mr. Darcy...more than Colin Firth. 

source

2. John Mayer - Sure he may be a sleazeball, but could his voice be more like melted butter? 

source
3.  Vin Diesel - I love how deep his voice is.  (Side note: It was very hard to find a picture of him with a shirt ON.  I feel like I should go talk to my bishop after that google search.)

source
4. Alan Rickman - I LOVE his voice. It is so diverse.  It can be villainous, pensive and absolutely romantic.

source

5.  Greg Wise - Maybe it is just that he played Willoughby....but that was enough for me to love his voice...and that accent.  (Yes, I do realize that 3 of the first 5 have played an Austen role.  Think I may have something for the Brits?)

source
6. Sean Connery - Isn't his voice just fantastic?!  It is unmistakable and so rustic.

source


7. Adam Levine - His voice is so unique.  I am loving it.

source
So, who gets your vote?

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Adult Onset, Children Induced, Boredom Enhanced Narcolepsy...HELP!

I'm in serious trouble people. I don't want to lose my youthful energy, although I fear I may be too late here. You see, in my 20s I was notorious for going on little sleep. I only really needed about 4 to 5 hours per night and I'd awake feeling refreshed and ready to go.

Why would anyone go to bed on time?! Night time is when all the fun begins!

These were my daily thoughts. This attitude and habit lasted well into my marriage, well into the years after my first child was born, and well into the years after my second child was born. BUT THEN CAME CHILD NUMBER THREE.

Well, really pregnancy number three. And my thirties.

And BAM! I cannot stay awake past 11:00 to save my life. That's not totally true. I can stay awake if I am busy doing something like cleaning or a project or surfing the web, but if my husband and I sit down to watch one of the following



I'm out within 5 minutes.

And my latest "so bored I fall asleep" victim (the one that makes me truly concerned) was Saturday night's Walk the Wire special on ABC.



Here's a guy, Nik Wallenda, who was willing to walk on a tight rope over Niagara Falls with rushing wind and water for over 20 minutes. His life was literally on the line. (Well, not really. He was harnessed.) His wife and kids were watching. One slip of the foot and he could have been seriously injured. It was compelling, albeit weird TV at it's best. And I slept through the whole thing. I remember briefly waking to ask my husband if he made it (he did).

Am I just watching the wrong shows?

Do I need more caffeine?

Or fewer children?

Or fewer years?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I was running

Thanks for that Forrest Gump.

For the past six months I’ve lived in semi-rural Australia. Because of this, I often encounter fun animals on my daily walks and notquiteasfrequent runs.
The path I take goes past a home with sheep, one with a cow, another with horses, chickens… you get the picture. The other day on my run, I encountered this (please excuse the dodgy iphone picture):

 Let me enlarge that for you (again, please excuse the dodgy iphone picture).


Yes, that is a gigantic kangaroo standing at the top of someone’s retaining wall.

I know I live in Australia and kangaroos are native here and it is common to randomly see a few in a field foraging for food and eating grass, similar to this:

See how they’re bent over ready to bound? This one was tall upright, still, and seemed to be watching me like a hawk. It was weird. I was watching thinking it was some kind of kooky tribute to kangaroos. In the time I stood standing there, my heart rate went right back down to resting.
That was until it crouched down and starting bounding straight for me.

I have literally never run so fast in my life. Just so you know, kangaroos are only awesome when they are not trying to kill you.  Heart rate - UP!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Real Time Bachelorette (June 18th Episode)



Before we begin a little internet research has led me to some shocking photos of Emily's men. Here's a little comparison of Arie and Sean:



I think Sean is now my favorite guy. Just sayin'...

8:00-A cat in Croatia is a weird opening shot. Travis is "freakin' pumped" to be here tonight. Travis Eggman gets a one on one. I see no sparks at all. Emily tells the camera that she wants to see Trav with his shirt off. She's only human (see the beginning of this post). Hold up...what is with the tank top that Gaston is wearing. Gaston is talking about his bad boy edge, although that tank top looks like my new tankini.

8:12- Gosh, another boring date. Travis tells Emily that he hasn't been on a date in two years. That egg thing is suddenly making more sense. The guys are sitting around waiting for a date card. Gaston is getting a one on one. HERE WE GO! Can we fast forward to that date? Sorry Trav. No rose tonight. Emily is a great breaker upper. If I were still dating I'd take notes. Travis is so depressed that he took it out on an umbrella. Then cried. Seriously! It was your first date! Come on!

8:25- Group date to see Brave. Hey producers, I'm still bored! The men dress in skirts. Let's see who looks best in their twinner kilts. I'm going to go with Sean (see the beginning of this post).

8:32-Competition begins. Who will take it? I'm going to go with Sean (see beginning of this post). Men in kilts on donkey's...ouch. (too crass? sorry) Chris the Kid has no game in this competition. He's surprisingly weak. Sean breaks his log in half. (see beginning of this post). Although I don't appreciate Sean's brag afterwards. Emily gives the bravery cup to Chris the Kid for being the weakest and most uncoordinated. She's coddling him...this is not good for his future on the show. I give Chris the Kid one more week.

8:43- Awkward group date party. Time with Sean. Time with Arie. I still like Arie (despite the hairdo he sported in '03, see beginning of this post), and Emily still likes Arie. Cue love music. Gaston loves hanging out alone apparently...and looking at himself in the mirror...and spiking his hair. Time with One F Jef. Cue love music. Time with Chris the Kid. Oh wait! He's getting love music? AND A ROSE? Oh come on, Emily! Don't coddle! You know he's 25 and not 10, right? She's way nicer than I am.

8:57-OK. Here goes. Gaston's one on one. Let's count how many times he brags or calls Emily an objectifying name. Emily is the pearl (name 1); never gets in accidents (brag 1); God chooses his women (brag 2); trophy wife (name 2); she's gotta love him (brag 3). Count to be continued...

9:07- She's a princess (name 3); trophy wife again (name 4); she'll be his trophy wife (brag 4); he's a great date planner (brag 5); trophy wife again (name 5); 12 Quality List (all kinds of names ...crap, I'm losing count!!!). No rose for Gaston. He didn't see himself not getting a rose (brag 6); he's just right for her (brag 7). OH EMILY!!!! You're really going to let him talk you into a rose!! COME ON! WE ARE ALL SHOUTING AT THE SCREEN! (Although, what would these posts be like without Gaston...on second thought, keep this guy around!)

9:18- One F Jef gives us some funny talking heads. He's growing on me. Arie doesn't think Gaston is getting a rose, and he's ready to tattle if he does. EMILY, COME ON!! STOP PULLING US AROUND...and finally, goodbye Gaston. This show won't be the same without you!! We will all miss you dearly. Among the greatest men of the world (brag 8); blessed with worldly gifts (brag 9).

9:30- Arie's thinking about pulling the Michelle Money unauthorized nighttime visit. Was that the cat again?! K- Arie you've got to be careful here, you don't want to come off as too eager. Well, I think we could just end the show now. Emily loves this rogue behavior. Is Arie going grey? Quick poll: Grey hair? Rugged handsome dude or old man?

9:40- Cocktail party. I love that Emily just tells us who she's thinking about sending home. Nice! I hate surprises. Oh no, John is crying. Is Emily done coddling for one episode? Wow, John went in for the kiss. Daddy Doug? Where have you been this week? This isn't going great for him. Are the guys collectively talking about making moves on Emily? That's weird. Doug is crying. CHRIS HARRISON! Funny seeing you here!

9:52- Crunch time. Doug and John talking about who will go. My money is on both of them. (I saw that weird preview). Chris Harrison gives his non-essential speech. Oh, ABC! You pulled a fast one on us there. She is still coddling tonight, so both stay! But really, Emily, these guys only have one more episode right?

Until next time.

Oh wait, Arie had a relationship with a producer! (J/K, my sister already told me that 2 weeks ago.) The plot thickens...

!@^*!#

I came upon a semi-sad realization the other day: I missed the boat on swearing.  I've never really sworn before* and as I'm approaching my 30's I think it will be just plain awkward if I started today.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become a regular Foul Mouth Francis or anything, but I think a cuss word can be quite effective thrown in here or there to make a point or to add humor to something. 

Yes, my age is certainly the dilemma.  If I picked up the bad/funny habit now people who have known me forever would probably be like, "What, Kasey! When did you start swearing?"  And I'd be like, "Oh, two and a half weeks ago."  And they'd most likely say, "You should probably know better since you're a mom and almost middle aged." And I'd probably hang my head in shame.  Even if a stranger heard me swear they'd probably say, "That's very unnatural for you, you should think about quitting,"  And I'd probably say, "Well, it's only my 5th time so maybe I'll warm up to it."  And they'd say, "Probably not." And then I'd feel dumb.

Moral of the story.  If you want to cuss start in high school.

*Except one time when I was driving alone down a dangerous canyon in the snow and then the "s word" may or may not have slipped out.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Picture This

I recently took on a project to scan all the pictures from my baby and childhood photo album for digital backup. There were 477 photos total.

Within the first week of my baby's life I had amassed over 500 pictures of her. I know, we're obsessed.

This got me thinking about how much more our children's lives our documented than our own and all the generations before them. So I asked my in-laws, who are in there 70's, how many pictures they have from their childhood years. They could name and count the photos they recall on two hands.

My mother in-law remembered that there used to be door-to-door photographers. The APEX, or excuse me, Vivnt security system salesmen of the day, if you will. Imagine, getting a knock on your door at some odd time of the day, when you may or may not be out of your sweats and ponytail, with a gentleman offering to take your picture and return with prints at a later time that you can purchase.

If you're not up for the beauty shot, maybe you your childrens' photos taken? Apparently some photographers even brought props for the kids. Like a pony. One of the few pictures my mother in-law has of herself as a child is of her on a random pony, taken by a door-to-door photographer.

30% of me thinks that this is a wonderful idea. No scheduling and no hassle of packing up kids to take them into a studio or chosen photo shoot location.

70% of me thinks it's terrible, and not just because you have no time to primp or prepare. I may just be overly paranoid, but I think it's kind of creepy. First of all, the photographer would be lucky if I even opened the door for him in the middle of the day without my husband home. Secondly, I'd be suspicious that my photos would be used for a purpose other than mantle decor, like this poor family. And lastly, how do I know he's not some creeper from down the street who just wants a picture of my kids? I don't think so buddy.

Some may reminisce about the good ol' days when you could open your door to random strangers and not feel the need to be paranoid but I think I'm content with taking my own photos of my daughter (by the thousands apparently) and if I feel the need to I'll even call in a pony for back up.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Summer Project

This is on my list of things to make this summer:
Source

Guess what it's made of?  If you guessed wax paper and an old lampshade you are very smart.  And possibly a cheater.

My sister and I are both making one so we started cutting wax circles last week.  Boy mama, this is going to be a long project which is why I'm giving myself the whole summer to complete it instead of one weekend.  And just for fun (and to keep me motivated) I'm going to post my final product on this blog. 

Hopefully it will be one of those "Wow, Kasey! That looks even better than the original!" moments rather than a "Wow, Kasey!  That looks like a hot mess!" moments, which if truth be told, most of my projects end up being. 

Wife #2?

source


A few weeks ago, curiosity got the best of me.  My husband and I were flipping through the channels after the kids had gone to bed and we ended up watching a few episodes of Sister Wives.  I usually try not to voice my opinion (too loudly) on the way people live their lives, because after all, they do have the right to make their own choices.  However, in this case I just found this show absolutely fascinating.  I also found it a little weird, a little unsettling, and possibly, a tad enticing.

Say what?!?

It's true, I almost gave my husband a heart attack when I said, "You know, I can sort of see some of the perks to polygamy."  (I think a little bit of his drink came out of his nose at this point.)  I continued, "One wife broke her knee and the other wives were there to help her out.  They made meals, they watched the kids.  It is a great lesson in teamwork.  Plus, they have built-in-friends to hang out with.  They never have to organize play groups or ask someone they hardly know to watch their kids while they go to a doctors appointment.  They can trade off nights for cooking, and they can help each other out with the house work.  It sounds great!  The husband sharing part would be the pits and I am not cool with that, but I'm totally on board with the rest of it.  I think I would like having a wife."

My husband calmly chuckled and said, "It sounds to me as if a better idea would be to just hire a nanny or a housekeeper."

I quickly agreed and my dreams of joining the polygamists were dashed away.  And then I was so glad that I was the only woman there on the couch snuggling my husband.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Would You Ban Sugary Drinks?


Yes, they are bad for us. They rot our teeth; they are responsible for extra pounds of fat every year; they've been related to hyperactivity in children, and gout in men. GOUT!! But has Michael Bloomberg (Mayor of New York) gone to far with his proposed ban? Or has he not gone far enough?

Read more here.

My personal opinion is that now instead of getting a 32 oz soda, people will now just get 2 16 oz sodas. It's basic math.

Ladies and Gentlemen (as If any read), We Have a Winner

The winner of our $50 Gap Giftcard Giveaway is:



who said:

"Evidently I am an over-achiever. Does it count for six if I've mentioned you on my blog before? haha--j/k. Thanks for the giveaway. I did all five things. I promise. My dad always told me "You're either honest or you're not." This time I am honest. ;)"

Let this be a lesson to all of us...HONESTY PAYS!

Now Karen, we just need you to e-mail us your contact info. (address, etc.) at pearshapedthoughts(at)gmail(dot)com and that gift card will be on its way. Congratulations!!

Thanks to all who entered. Be on the lookout for future giveaways.

Why Do I Love Desserts in Jars?

One thing that I hate about myself is that I can be rather contrarian about trends. If Hawaii is all the rage, I'm heading to Bermuda. If people love the play Wicked, I'm going to go see Cats. I've learned over the years though that Hawaii is awesome and Wicked is great. Usually things are trends because people (including me) like them. That's sort of how I feel about desserts in jars. Trendy? Yes, but why do I find myself wanting to make them, enjoy their cuteness, have a completely color coordinated party, and then devour them? (Note:the odds of this actually happening are slim to none.) Perhaps we don't need to make s'mores in jars because we can just make s'mores without the jars, but tell me that these don't set your heart and taste buds spinning:

Recipe found here

Or maybe it's because you can tie a cute wooden spoon (not an ugly plastic one) to them with twine like this person has done:

Idea found here

Or it could be that they can be wrapped up rather nicely (and easily, might I add) with a nice bow. Or that they are perfectly portioned without the hassle of cutting. Or that you don't have to dish them up prettily; they look good with little effort.

Recipe found here


Whatever it is, I just can't help myself! If desserts were people, these little things would be the babies that you just want to squeeze due to cuteness. See what I mean?


Peach pie in a mini-jar!!! What's not to love? Recipe here.

P.S. Giveaway winner to be announced later today!! Get excited...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The REAL Hunger Games

I stumbled across this little gem yesterday. The only thing it's missing is the husband in the chase with the kids. Is mine the only one who does that?



If you found this entertaining, you can find more like it here.

Warning – This post is about boogers

I do not like snot. In fact, can’t stand the thought of it. I can’t see it, smell it, and least especially can’t hear it being sniffed up. No, Sir.

There was a time my husband and I knew everything about each other, you know, back when we were dating and there was still a hint of mystery. One day during this period, we were eating lunch in a shopping centre food court. Now let me just preface this story to tell you that I usually can’t tell this story without gagging profusely. So I will most likely be gagging as I type this. Too much information? You’re welcome.
The food court was incredibly busy. There were only a few free seats so we weren’t able to leave the usual ‘buffer’ by keeping a table free in between us and the nearest people. We sat down at a table next to a Mum with her two kids. My husband and I were sitting across from each other, so if I looked to the left of him I could see one of the children. It was a little boy, about age 6. He was a cute kid, at first glance.
At second glance, I saw my arch nemesis. Snot.

There was no third glance. I didn’t look back at him. But I knew it was there. It was taunting me, but I was able to ignore it just enough to chat cautiously with my husband and begin eating my food.

A few seconds later, I heard what is the worst sound in the world. Worse than fingers down a chalkboard. I heard that gross, slobbery sound as the little kid sniffed up the big green booger and swallowed it.
That was it for me. I was out of there.

My husband had missed the whole interaction and was baffled. He hadn’t noticed the kid and the sea cucumber hanging from his nose. He didn’t hear the room shake as the kid sniffed. And, he didn’t yet know of my issue with the green gremlin. He followed me, wondering what he had done to make me storm off like that. When I finally got out enough of the story, mid gag, for him to understand all he did was laugh. What else could you do?

Needless to say, this is quite the problem with a toddler. Kids are gross.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

When Milestones Cause Kidney Stones

***If you haven't entered our first giveaway there is still time!***

Like most mothers I look forward to certain milestones in my children's life - first smile, first time sleeping through the night, first steps, first words, first hero fascination.  And then there are other milestones that I do not look forward to - tantrums, learning to say the word no, finding out how to hide at the store, etc.  But no milestone filled me with more dread than...(gulp) potty training.

Perhaps it was all the "horror stories" I heard from other mothers at play group.  Maybe it was the fact that all the books I read about potty training had children starting at 18 months (my son is 3).  Or it could be the statistic I heard that it takes 7 months on average to fully potty train a child.  In any case I avoided it like the plague (obviously, because like I just said, my son is 3).  I kept telling myself "when this box of diapers runs out I'll teach him." And then his diapers would run out and I would head straight to Costco to buy myself another 6 week supply.  I did this several times.  As in several several times.  I didn't care that I had two kids in diapers.  I like (love) diapers.  They are easy, they are fast, they are convenient, they are disposable.  However, I didn't want my boy to be the laughing stock of Nursery so I gave myself a pep talk and planned the date when I would begin potty training.  And then I talked it up to my toddler with promises of presents galore (he's a sucker for presents, that one).

The morning of training was exhausting...he cried, I cried, the baby cried (not in relation to the potty training, though) and by nap time we were all exhausted.  After putting a load of underwear in the wash I collapsed.  But then a miracle occurred.  After my youngster's nap things "clicked" for him.  It's been a month since potty training day and he's only had a handful of accidents. 

So either I totally lucked out with an easy-potty-trainable child or the bribery and his old age worked in my favor.  In any case it wasn't so bad.  I'd take it over teething any day.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Real Time Bachelorette (June 11th Episode)


Here we are again. Another week. Who will stay? Who will go? What drama will ensue? I'm here for my analysis as the show goes on. (Note: This is my favorite post of the week, if you couldn't tell.)

8:00- OOOH, London. Finally, a Bachelorette location that doesn't require bikini shots. One F Jef announces that he's "stepping it up this week." Cheese-head Sean gets the one on one. Jef is feeling threatened, and the guys are sitting around comfortably talking about feelings again (and this makes me super uncomfortable).

8:10- Cute coat Emily! She threw out the "C" word...connection time, people! On the surface, Emily and Sean make a very cute couple(two blondes, great smiles, perfect teeth and hair). They belong on the cover of the Ensign. Turns out Kondescending Kalon (whom I will now call KK) doesn't want to be a daddy. Shocking, KK. I mean, you should just pretend you're ready like all these other guys, except Doug, because he's A DAD...in case you didn't know. Sean is uncomfortably serenading Emily with his speaking skills. I like Sean. He reminds me of a quarterback. Quick! Wikipedia him! Was he a quarterback?!! I KNEW IT!! His bio says that his greatest achievement is "Earned a full scholarship to college through football." Gosh, I'm good!!!

8:19- Romantic Dinner. Is Emily losing her voice? At least we know she has one now. On Brad's season, I seriously wondered. Wait? Did she just call Sean her "prisoner of love?" I'm surprised I like Sean. I usually hate football stars, but he's got a great smile. KK is not pleased with his group date. Despite being "marriage material" I just don't see the sparks between Emily and Sean. Touchdown on the date though Sean! You're likely to go far.

8:28- Another cute coat. Oh no, Shakespeare scenes?!! Awks (thanks, Sevey). Oh KK! You do not think that this is your "big break." He was "born to play" Romeo because Juliet didn't have any baggage (i.e. kids). Arie isn't the sharpest tool in the Shakespeare shed. Good thing he's rich and handsome (in a non-handsome way). Did KK just shew her away? Does he know what show he's on? Weirdo.

8:42- Gaston (aka Ryan) has been quiet tonight. Wait, "Earrings" is a 24 year-old "Mushroom Farmer?" How did I miss that? Performance time. Hokey. Stupid. Waste of time. Ope, there's the Gaston, we love (i.e. hate). Pushed the line with the stage kiss. And no, it wasn't a real kiss.

8:52- I kinda hate group dates. Cue the love music with Arie. I will be shocked if he doesn't win. Gaston is giving her jewelry. Not what I was expecting. I was expecting a thigh-master or a plastic surgery gift card or something. Any chance that KK is really 12 or the kid from BIG, because he acts like it. OOOOH! Doug is ready to tattle on KK and the "baggage" statement. Emily is ticked (well, as ticked as you can sound while whispering).

9:03- KK is defending the term "baggage." Go Emily!! I haven't seen this kind of fight from any Bachelorette since Ali yelled at Justin "Rated R" for having a girlfriend at home. Kalon's heading back to Nordstrom! Doug tries to swoop in, and Emily stiff arms him. No rose tonight.

9:12- One F Jef's moment to shine. Well, he didn't get a haircut; so that's one strike against him. Another cute coat! My sister thinks Jef looks like Michael Banks (of Mary Poppins). Etiquette class? We are in dire need of a helicopter or some sharks to swim with or a bungee jump or something. Jean provides the second hokey moment of the night. Jef is lucky to get the emotional rebound date and come of as the hero who defended her against KK. I don't love Jef. I'm totally bored with them together. Emily likes Jef though, and really, is she the most exciting girl you've ever met?

9:25- Cue love music. Jef will go far. Love music=top 3 contestant. I'm bored with this one on one. Really. Very boring. WAIT!! Emily is talking moving to Salt Lake!! Hold the Fort! Call Good Things Utah! We've got a gig for you, Emily! That was definitely the highlight of that date. Has Jef ever kissed a girl before? He's like a 16 year old.

9:36- I like Emily's blue cocktail dress. And her hair. Hot seat for all the guys. I've never seen someone want to have tattlers. Bachelor/ette tattlers usually don't go far. She's ticked at Arie. I like Arie's answers; simmer down Emily. Gaston has a performance. STOP GASTON! STOP! Oh gosh, Emily!! Run. Gaston is trouble. Sean's getting love music. This is good news for Sean.
CHRIS HARRISON! There you are! London on ABC's tab? You lucky dog.

9:50-Crunch time. My money is on Earrings or Egg Man (the guy who had the big egg) going home. Egg man's staying!! They expect us to believe that Arie is going home? No way. Goodbye Earrings. At least he didn't cry...oh wait.


Until, next time...






I said SMILE, not grimace!

Why is it kids can smile so beautifully until you put a camera in front of them? Then you end up with pictures that look like this.




There's really something to be said for the 'just go ahead and take photos without us knowing' style photography.




When the FBI Comes to Visit


An FBI agent showed up at my house a while back.  At first I started scrambling my mind for possible crimes I may have committed.  Of course, the slate in my mind came back clean since I am an outstanding citizen.

You know how in the movies they flap open their badge and say, “FBI.  I have a few questions for you”.  Well, that is the real deal my friends.  That is almost exactly what he did and said.   So, basically, at that point I expected a camera crew to show up and send me off to hair and makeup in preparation for my big scene.  But they didn’t show.  Lame.

He started asking us questions about a former neighbor.  I don’t know anything about FBI etiquette so I hesitated to ask him why he was questioning us about our neighbor.  But, my curiosity got the better of me and I asked anyway.  (I can be brave sometimes.)  Turns out, such a question is acceptable.  And to make a good story turn boring…our neighbor just applied for a government job and they were doing a background check.  I know, you were hoping for some Jack Bauer-ish story.  So was I.

Moral of the story…Even the cool jobs disappoint sometimes.  

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Comfortable in My Own Skin

source

I read a survey recently that said 97% of women have one negative thought about their body daily.  The first thing that came to my mind was, "Really?  Only one?"  I know sometimes I am hard on myself but I have really started to be happy with my body and my new permanent curves.  (If you count love handles as curves.)

As a teenager, I absolutely hated my body.  And hate would be putting it lightly. I looked like a 12-year old boy for all of my teenage years.  I couldn't have been skinnier or less shapely.  I tried everything.  I lifted weights to bulk up.  I'm pretty sure it only made me skinnier.   I stopped at McDonalds everyday after school to try to fatten up.  It didn't work.  I will probably just have a heart attack at 35.  When I was 17, I took a supplement called Bust-A-Grow.  It was supposed to help me go up a cup size in 6 weeks!  I'm pretty sure all it helped me grow was a mustache. 

Now I look back and think, "What was my problem?  Sure I was a little skinny, but at least everything still pointed up!"

I think as you get older you get more comfortable with your body image.  Why does that happen?  Do you look at your kids and appreciate your stretch marks?  Do you just start to embrace who you are and stop trying to look like someone different? Or maybe you just appreciate that most of it still works?  Who knows, but whatever it is that made me more comfortable with my body, I am so glad not to be an obsessed 17-year old anymore.  That was exhausting.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Our First Giveaway!!


No really. We're just giving it away!! For free. Well, almost...

Are you loving this look:

Or wanting to wear this:

Or drooling over this:

Or this:

Or this:


Well, we're here to help you out. We've got a $50 Gap gift card for one lucky reader.

What do you have to do to enter? One of the following:
*"Like" us on the book of faces (ie. Facebook)
*Follow us
*Post about us on your personal blog
*Put a button on your personal blog
*Put us on your personal blog roll

After you have done one of those things, leave us a comment. If you happen to be an overachiever and do all 5 things, you'll be entered 5 times. This is basically done on the honor system, so I'm going to give you the same speech my high school English teacher gave my class about using Cliff's Notes, "If you're a liar and a cheat, you're a liar and a cheat. There's not much I can do for you." So be honest, people!

You can enter until June 13, so get on it! Winner will be drawn at random.

Good luck!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Bein' Quirky

My husband has a "not so secret" crush on Zooey Deschanel. Maybe that's why the following SNL clip cracked me up for days. Or maybe it's because I feel that the world is in love with "quirky" and "vintage".

Warning - Serious Post Alert

Today, I got a healthy reminder to be grateful and I had to share it.

I met two new girls. One aged 11 and the other aged 9. It was their first day at a new school, the school where I teach. They’ve just moved to Australia from Sudan. And by moved, I mean they’ve come here as refugees.
Their move wasn’t by choice. These girls lost both of their parents recently when they were killed in war crimes. They have no living family, know very little English and had never attended school before today. In fact, they’re lucky to be alive having lived their whole lives surrounded by war.

I was teaching a literacy support program today and the elder of the two girls came. She had never used a computer before and spent a good fifteen minutes figuring out how to use a mouse. She found headphones frightening because they ‘sent sound into her head’. They were far too weird and scary at this point in her life. She was shy and easily startled.
Puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?

Sometimes I get pretty self involved, worry about paying a mortgage, work, callings, children, cars, new clothes, and toys. Today, I’m grateful I have these concerns to make my life wonderful. I'm grateful for the reminder to be grateful.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

WWYD: What Would You Do?


Moral Dilemma:

I live three doors down from a post office and I have caught the mailman SLEEPING in his mail truck in front of my house not once or twice, but THREE TIMES IN THE LAST MONTH!!! One time he was even blocking my driveway and I couldn't get in. I had to honk my horn to wake him up.

You'd think that after someone caught you sleeping on the job (literally...SLEEPING on the job), you'd think, "Oh hey! I should probably get back to work or take the truck back and not milk the clock." But no!! He casually moved over to my neighbor's house, parked it, and slept some more!

Here's where you come in: Would you report him?

I mean one time, I understand. But three!? I have some compassion. In the end though, I pay taxes! However, I'm also horrified of being labeled a tattler.

What to do? What to do?

Baby Talk

A while back this video was circulating on Facebook and I tucked it away for future use. Let me tell you, I am SO glad I did. It's a much quicker study than reading any baby parenting book out there and very effective. It's made all the difference in my sanity. Here's to hoping it helps you too somewhere down the line.

Teenage Talk

If you're like me you try to avoid the teenage population as much as possible.  Unfortunately, it isn't always possible. Chances are you're related to one. live near one, work with one, or serve them at church.  To help us live peacefully among them we must attempt to understand them.  To aid us in this lofty endeavor is my teenage sister who is going to give us a quick lesson on teenage language.  Go ahead, use this new found knowledge on the teenager in your life.  If you don't impress them with your skills you'll probably at least get an eye roll.
Please welcome our youngest guest poster...Sevey (that's her name, don't wear it out).

I'm sure you guys are noobs when it comes to the teenage language.  Its tots norm to use abbreviations in teen language even though it can be sups awky, and not always obvi what the person is saying. I know you're probably sups jelly of my tots vish skills, but.don't get nast and start hatin' on me, 'ight?

Key to Teen Abbreviations:

Noob = Newbie or Not skilled 
Tots = Totally
Norm = Normal
Sups = Super 
Awk or Awky = Awkward 
Obvs or Obvi = Obviously or Obvious 
Jelly = Jealous 
Vish = Vicious
Nast = Nasty
'ight = Alright

Thnx Sevey!  That was tots helpful!  LOL!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Bless Her Heart


I’ve decided I’m going to start using the phrase “bless her/his heart” more often.  Because seriously, you can pretty much get away with anything if you follow it up with “bless her/his heart”.  It makes everything you say about people (or animals) sound nice.

For example:

That is the fattest cat I’ve ever seen...bless her heart.

That was the dumbest thing she could have ever said...bless her heart.

I can’t believe that jerk cut me off!!  Bless his heart. 

If I use this phrase properly (you know, properly…like the last three examples), it will be as if I’ve never said a rude thing in my life.  

Monday, June 4, 2012

Real Time Bachelorette (June 4th Episode)


I'm 2000 miles away from anyone I would feel comfortable watching The Bachelorette with. So here's my running diary of the night. Let's pretend that you all are sitting next to me on my couch.

8:00- Guys celebrate the big trip (with a few YEAHS!!) At least they aren't cheering about kids at a playground this time. (I was a bit creeped out by that date, actually)

8:15- Doug nearly beats up Arie. Surprisingly, I'm more comfortable with this scenario than I am hearing them all sit around and talk about feelings.

8:20- One on one date with Doug. Oh Doug. Linz was right...PURE CHEESE! He's a dad, from foster care, has the perfect grandpa, he's "too good" of a dad, started a charity, worst trait is that he doesn't wash cars, oh and did I mention that he's A DAD!? Bachelorette has gone cheap. The most exciting thing they do is write a postcard? She gives him a rose, but I give Doug two more weeks tops. Oh and Emily announces that she never works out. I want to hit her HARD!

8:30- Guys set sail to win a "date". And what's with Jef's hair? And what's with Ryan's hair? And what's with Ryan? I kinda hate that guy. I'm calling him Gaston from now on. Sean would have given his "right leg to pop some champagne with Emily tonight." He's second in line for the Cheese Head Award.

8:45- The Yellow Team wins, thanks to Arie's Indy racing skills. He's handsome in a not handsome way (my favorite guy by far). The Red Team leaves and head-wound Charlie is crying. Way to take it like a man, Charlie. Gaston is in fine form tonight. He's bringing up her getting fat again. He's a DUM DUM. Jef gets the rose.

9:00- We have John and Nate (Who are these guys?) on the "two on one date". Meeting these guys for the first time. Pretty sure they are just fillers. Pan to a shot with Emily (who NEVER works out) in a bikini. Going out on a limb here (and using Tina Fey's arm meat to chest meat ratio) to say that "those" aren't real. As of right now, choosing Nate.

9:10- Cave dinner holding both guys hands. That's weird. Nate's talking fiber...I'm now choosing John. Nate's jeans are rolled. Now, I'm really choosing John! Nate's crying...NOW JOHN'S GOT IT WON, and he hasn't even talked to her yet. John's talking to her, cue the love music. Nate just got ousted. OUCH!! That "two on one date" was 4 minutes long. Shortest date ever. Note to guys everywhere...do not cry on the first date, let alone the first conversation.

9:20- Hey, there's Kalon. He's been quiet this episode. His is my favorite job because I think "Luxury Brand Consultant" is code for working at Nordstrom. Speculation that Gaston is going home. Stolen by Arie. WAIT! Who's the guy with a ponytail? Gaston wants to be the Bachelor. Not surprised. Although pretty sure admitting it isn't helping his cause.

9:30- Cheese head Sean is kind of likeable. Note to Gaston...this is the way to become the next Bachelor. Wow, Doug and Gaston are talking wisdom in not kissing Emily. Right, not kissing her means that you're a front runner. Chris the kid is tattling. Yeah, tattling means that you're a front runner too. THEM IS FIGHTING WORDS for Doug from Chris. Doug's bragging again...he "takes care of everyone he can"...unless they have a dirty car. Chris Harrison! They paid for you to go to Bermuda!?

9:45- Crunch time. Oh wait, she has to sit down with Chris Harrison. I guess they have to make him earn his keep. Mention Arie and she blushes. She tells Chris she hates Gaston too. I like Emily's man eater side.

9:52- Really crunch time now. My husband just walked in, "Is your lame show almost over?" She keeps Gaston!!! Producers had something to do with that. And Kondescending Kalon! So her choice is between Charlie and two guys I don't know the name of. Head-wound Charlie and Ponytail are leaving. Really Ponytail? You're crying? Charlie's crying again. Way to take it like a man, Charlie.

Until next time...

Green Smoothies Are Gross Smoothies

I found this book online today. How anyone in the world can stand these things is beyond me, especially as a meal.

I hate green smoothies. I tried to like them for the health benefits, but in the end I'd rather have a green-free smoothie and a side salad, even without dressing. Veggies were never meant to be blended in my opinion. Erica, please tell me that veggies are the same whether blended or not.

Go Go Gadget Sandwich Maker

A wise man once said,"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

My sentiments exactly!

Just a few weeks ago I was telling my mom how I wished that women grew an extra arm in addition to a baby during pregnancy...and that it was socially acceptable. Heck, maybe even "attractive."

And wouldn't it even better if this arm were an inspector gadget-like, retractable, multifunction arm; one to make me a sandwich, wipe a runny nose, fold clothes, paint my toes, and scratch an itch all while I hold a sleeping baby.



I'm not sure if one additional arm would be sufficient for more than one child.You'll have to let me know. Does each additional child require an additional arm? If so, I'm thinking these arms could be social status makers. Like being a 10 cow wife or something.