Saturday, May 12, 2012

What She REALLY Wants This Mother's Day

There is something people need to understand about the stage of motherhood I am in (young kids, at home and in school). It's work. It's my job. It's what I do day in and day out. I wouldn't call it 24/7 (except when there's a newborn), but to put in a 15 hour day (even on weekends) including housework when the kids are in bed isn't out of the ordinary. I do dishes and laundry every single day. That's a lot when you think about there being 365 days in a year. I straighten rooms multiple times per day and make beds every single day. I make sure that kids are fed 3+ times per day and bathed regularly. I change roughly 5 to 8 diapers every day. When the stars align during the day and everyone is cared for and happy and/or napping, I do get some breaks, and when my husband is home, I often get breaks. But motherhood is work...hard tedious work. 

I didn't become a mom to get awards or thank you's or pats on the back, and I don't hate my job at all. In fact with the monotony of my life, I often have what I like to call "pay day moments" that make all my work more than worth it.  Like when my three year old gives me random day moment. Or when my 7 month old smiles and laughs at me while moving all of her chubby limbs at day moment. Or every day when my Kindergartener walks out of school smiling, healthy, and happy to see day moment. Or when my kids play and belly laugh together in the back seat of the day moment. Or when any one of my kids learns a new skill and beams with day moment.

I didn't ask for it, but Hallmark gave my job a holiday where gifts are often given and sort of expected. To be honest, stuff is great, but really what I want and what most moms in my stage of life want is this:


My grandpa was a gem of a guy who understood this. Every year on Mother's Day he'd coordinate a dinner where the men did all the cooking. He'd set up a table in their living room with nice china and flowers and the men and kids would serve the moms. All the men and kids had to eat outside and were not allowed in the living room. The moms would stay in there for hours chatting with my grandma and each other. A great break.

I don't think that all men need to do what my grandpa did. He liked to cook, so the food suffered not at all when he was at the helm. So for the rest of you, I have come up with a list of ways (some expensive and some free) that you can reward the mother of your children with what she needs...A BREAK.

1. Clean the house. If that seems too much for you or your skills (not judging...just saying), hire a one time cleaning lady.  Of course send mom out of the house when this is happening.

2. Take her car to get detailed and cleaned. Cleaning the car is actually one thing that is kind of hard for a mom with young kids to do with car seats and kids in tow. Leave a note or flowers in that clean car and you're in business.

3. Send her out with cash for a day by herself. I don't care if you give her $20 to spend. $20 of guilt free spending is priceless to most moms. **But let me note something here...if you let her come home to unfed, unbathed children who should be in bed, and a sink full of dishes, you really didn't do her any favors.

4. Make a special dinner and do all the dinner clean up. If you don't cook, consider take out from somewhere she loves.

5. Get snacks, magazines, a book, or some movies she loves and lock her in her room to chill for a few hours of uninterrupted alone time. **Again of course, if she comes out to a messy house and crying kids, she would have rather not taken this break at all.

6. Give her a Barnes and Noble gift card (or another store she loves) that she can take to Barnes and Noble that very day to spend and have a few hours reading in those big chairs. (I am so jealous of people who can spend hours at Barnes and Noble...that's where this idea comes from). Again...see the asterisk items above!

7. You can do a special date night together, BUT you get the sitter and plan it all and do all the prep work for a sitter.

8. I don't know any girl who hates a pedicure. Although a gift certificate for this is good, it's better if you offer to let her go right away to get one. See the asterisks above!!!

9. If possible, offer to take care of carpool for a week.

10. Offer to do all laundry for a week.

11. Do breakfast for kids and for mom, but not if you have early church...that's just begging for a grumpy frazzled mom.

12. Coordinate with other dads and let moms go out to lunch together. AGAIN see the asterisks!

Do you know who else Hallmark made a holiday for? Dads. Any guy out there want to create a list of what dads really want for Father's Day? I'm guessing the list is similar only with guy things. Am I wrong?


  1. This list is perfect!! #10 on your list would be my #1. If my husband washed, folded, and put away all the laundry for an entire week, I'd be in heaven!!

  2. Amen...maybe I shouldnt admit this but I told my husband that I dont want to feel like a mother on mothers day. At least the work that it requires.