Monday, May 14, 2012

Emily's Men

Tonight marks the beginning of another season of the Bachelorette!  Don't be embarrassed.  I know you have been looking forward to it as much as I have.  If not more.  I love the tacky cliches about the "journeys" and "leaps of faith" and I always love that this will be the most "dramatic season yet".  I should actually count how many times they say those this season.

Is it just me, or would you be ticked if these were the bachelors you had to choose from? I know, I know, they probably all have wonderful personalities, but I have to be honest, when my husband takes his shirt off, I am hardly ever thinking about his personality.  Emily has to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.  I doubt they were lacking in options for bachelors.  Couldn't ABC have picked a few hot ones?  I could do the job.  I wonder if they are hiring? My hope is that the surprise of the season will be a helicopter-drop of actual hot guys.

Anyway, due to lack of hotness, the prediction categories I previously decided on had to be altered a bit.  Sad.  Here we go!

(Pictures and profile info found here.  Check it out.  You won't be sorry.)

1.  Gouda:  This guy is pure cheese.  Most likely he will be a little clingy and probably talk about how he knows that they are already soul mates.  He just barely trumped the guy who had "The Notebook" listed as his favorite movie.  Meet Doug!

2. Trip McNeely:   Had his heyday in high school and never quite got over it.  Hello, Chris!

3.  Boy Band: The idiot that will use song to weasel his way into her heart.  This would never work on me.  Bye, Bye, Bye, David.

4.  Blue Steel:  This guy is only there to further his acting/modeling career.  However, I sure hope Jackson is just an underwear model.  He has a weird face to me.  Does he kind of look like a shark?

5.  Meat Head:  This guy uses his muscles for attention and may try to fight one of the other guys in the house.  Here's Ryan!  AKA Rocky Balboa.

6. Token Utahn:  It seems to be a new trend in the Bachelor franchise to have someone from Utah.  And, in typical Utah fashion, Jef's name is spelled weird. He looks like he will be funny.  Maybe it is the NKOTB haircut?

7. Best Celebrity Look-a-like:  James Van Der Beek anyone?  I'm not sure what his real name is.  We'll just call him Dawson.

The winners I chose for the last season of the Bachelor were soooo far off.  I'm hoping I have better luck this time.  Here are my choices for the final four.

Alessandro:  I like his rugged look.  Plus he's Brazilian.  Nothing like a man with an accent to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

Arie: He is my wild card for the final four.  He's a race car driver.  I'm not sure if that is insensitive or not, given Emily's background, but maybe it will be something they have in common.  Plus, he has really great hair....which is seriously lacking this season.

Charlie:  I think he has a really nice face.  He just looks like a sincere person.  There is always a "nice guy" in the final two.  Sadly, the nice guy rarely gets picked.

Tony: I bet he will be funny.  Plus, he's a lumber trader.  I like a man with a manly job.  Unless lumber trader means he works at Home Depot....

Who is my pick for the winner?  Honestly, I hope Brad Womack comes begging and they live happily ever after.

Thoughts on the upcoming season?


  1. Loved it! Seriously, why aren't we friends?! I predict she doesn't choose anyone! And is it wrong to sort of hope they do let Bentley come back?

  2. At the risk of offending, I have seriously never gotten in to this show. But you can ask me all about Biggest Loser.

  3. So funny! Counting down the hours until 7:00. Not really, but I do love me some Bachelorette.

  4. So Jef (well his parents) live down the street from my in-laws. Christian actually has been on a cruise with him and his family. Small world :)

  5. I'm predicting Charlie and Arie as the final two. Arie is definitely the hottest on the show. Yay for the Bachelorette being back!