Monday, April 2, 2012

Selfish Vs. Selfless


How many women out there spend a good part of their day wondering if they should have another baby? I do. I think about it ALL THE TIME. I just can’t seem to come to any conclusion.

There are some days when my boys are practically angelic. They hug me, they snuggle, we read books, we laugh, we wrestle, we get along, we sing, we make crafts, we make up silly games, they eat all of their food AND tell me it is delicious. I could have 3 more babies on days like those.

Then there are the days I just want to curl up in bed and hide from them. They are cranky, they whine, they scream, they fight, they end up in time out for a good 2/3 of the day, they call me fart face, they melt down, I melt down, we all start crying, and everyone is forced to bed by 5:30. Yes, it’s happened. More times than I care to admit. Those are the days I contemplate tubal ligation.

I am not a baby person in any way. In fact, I only tolerate babies until they transform into more established humans. The thought of starting at the very beginning again scares me...trying to get pregnant, pregnancy, labor, newborns. On the other hand, I don't want to get to the point where I am too old and then decide, "Hmmm, maybe I should have had some more babies?" So really, my decision needs to be made soon. I'm no spring chicken.

I am a list maker. I decided to make a list that may be useful for others in my same predicament.

Signs that you aren't ready to have a/another baby...

1. The sound of a newborn cry makes you cringe instead of swoon.

2. You like sleeping through the night.

3. You forgot/don't know how to swaddle a baby.

4. You would rather spend money on a vacation than an insurance deductible.

5. You still feel some sort of modesty and you aren't ready for 15 different people to see you naked (Doctors, nurses, lactation consultants, the three 17 year old guys next to you in Panera when you have to emergency-public-breastfeed...)

6. There are a few books you would like to read.

7. You would like to be thin through the summer.

8. You are terrified of your breast pump.

9. You like clean shirts.

I realize most of my points are selfish reasons which is the biggest reason that I'm not ready to have another baby. Selfish and baby can never go in the same sentence.


  1. I feel like you took my thoughts from my brain and wrote them out. You are not the only one!

  2. Agh, don't freak me out! I totally know why the church encourages people to have kids early. The older I get the less I'm interested. I'm SOOOOOO selfish, and the thought of ANY of those things on your list happening to me is not appealing. I mean, I know motherhood is the greatest gift and children are angels from heaven, etc, etc, but I wish I had had kids when I was 23 before I realized how awesome it is to be kid-less.

  3. I am here to tell you that you are NOT a Fart Face. Also, great post! I was laughing out loud. Also, I've decided that the decision of how many kids to have could possibly be the hardest decision of all time. It's a constant pull between, well, lots of different variable. I say, lets just buy a duplex with a door that connects our houses, then when you're about to loose your sanity push them over to my side. And when we're both about to loose it, we can go to one side and lock the kids on the other.