Saturday, March 10, 2012

My Ever Great Child-Spacing Debate

Between number 1 and number 2 there's 2 1/2 years.

Between number 2 and 3 there's 3 years almost exactly.

I've always felt like having a bit of space between my kids has been a good thing. It gave each of them some time to be a baby, allowed for some potty training to happen, got them past the "head bumping watch their every move" phase, the older one was always safely in the "Disney Junior is our friend" phase (which can be key in those first months), we were all placed somewhere other than mom's arms (or the foyer) for the last two hours of church.

Yes, the space has been great.

But then I turned 30

And there's just something about that age that has me thinking that my clock is ticking, not biologically, but mentally. I really shouldn't feel this way... I live on the east coast where I am BY FAR the youngest mom picking up her kid from kindergarten. When I was in my twenties, it seemed like I had nothing but time to do this sort of thing, but suddenly, I have myself feeling like if these kids are going to come, there isn't much more time to get them here. And will I have energy to do this if I am older than this? At this point, I am beat by 7:00 pm.

This isn't an announcement by any stretch of the imagination, and honestly, one can't always time these things, but I need to know from someone who's done it...

Was it complete madness?

Better yet, is there someone out there who's done both...children with decent space and children with little space... and do you have time to give me your professional opinion...or would you be willing to give me a nice pro/con list so that I can compare and contrast the two?

I want a completely honest don't need to sugar coat things for me. I'm already in the trenches here, and this debate occupies about 12% of my brain power each day.



  1. Okay, here is my opinion about having them close together....

    It's the beginning. But after I thought about it some more, I thought, "wait a minute, it's always tough in the beginning because that is the nature of a newborn." So, once I got past about 3 month or so and started adjusting to the routine, the fact that I was dealing with a young toddler at the same time as a newborn wasn't so bad. That being said, there are lots of day when I think, "oh man, I really wish #1 had school five days a week because I don't think I can take much more of this fighting while I'm trying to change a diaper/put down for a nap/feed the baby/ and attempting to put my 2 year old in time out"

    Then again, I am the "Lets do it and get it done" kind of gal. So, even if it was a little bit harder dealing with three young children all under the age of 4, I'm much happier that I had them all quickly because now I can say "I'm done"! And that makes me much happier than "oh crap, I've dragged it out, and now I still have to have one more." I would not be a happy gal right now if I just had my two and realized I still had to get pregnant again in the near future. Trust me, I am not a nice person whilst pregnant.

    Anyway, making the decision to have children and then how many and then how often are all crazy hard decisions to make. So, take a load off, and lets go shopping together and forget about all our children for the day!

  2. My boys are 2 1/2 years apart. I wish I had spaced them even a little more. I am NOT a baby person. In fact, babies stress me out. You can't reason with them, communication is difficult, feeding, sleeping, blah!! I just have to have a little time to talk myself into doing it again. But, I am in the same boat as you. I turn 30 in 6 months. My eggs aren't getting any younger. If I am going to have a couple more I better get on it. But, I just can't. Let me know how it goes :)

  3. So my closest are Noah and Ella, and there's 20 months between them. Funny enough, that transition was probably the easiest of all of them. Well, the transition to 5 was also fairly easy, and Ava and Sadie are 2 years, 9 months apart. That is as far apart as any of my kids are.

    I've always said that how easy or difficult it is to have a new baby totally depends on the child just older than the baby, and I'm sticking to that assessment. Noah totally wasn't jealous and was indifferent to Ella, so that made #3 fairly easy. Of course, I guess Ava hit Sadie multiple times a day, and that didn't seem too hard, but once you have that many kids, not much seems too terribly difficult. Now that you have 3 kids, trust me. It's not gonna seem too difficult or different to throw one more in there. Life's already insane; you may as well embrace the insanity!