Saturday, March 31, 2012

Bringing It Back...Floral Print Sunday Wear!

When I was in about the 9th grade, I got my first pair of bell bottom jeans. They had come back in style, and I swear when my mom saw them in the store, she nearly forced me into them.

My mom wasn't "that" mom who cared what her daughter wore at all. But the nostalgia of those jeans, suddenly made her care about fashion. They were just like the ones she wore in the early 70s.

Moral of the story? Wait around awhile in fashion and EVERYTHING comes back in style. For instance, if you had told me when I graduated high school that roots (melting, ombre...whatever you want to call it), tapered colored jeans, and flat shoes would be in style now, I would have laughed in your face and told you that if you tried these things, you were guaranteed to never have a date again in your life. But here we are.

My favorite trend of this season from season's past (like 1992-97)?

Floral Print Sunday Wear that looks like curtains!!!









And lest you think that I am above this trend...I am the proud owner and wearer of one of the above items. I'm not above nostalgia!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Pigeon Holed Pianist

I think pianists have it tough. Once you let it slip that you can play and are blessed to have a calling as a pianist, you may always have a calling as a pianist.

I noticed this on Sunday when I watched our seventy year old pianist scamper out of sacrament meeting after fulfilling her duty as organist and run into the primary room ready to relieve the absent primary pianist. Then she returned after the three hour block to play for the ward choir. Poor love must have been exhausted by the end of her day. As I chatted with her, I learned that she’d had a music calling for the past twenty years. 20 YEARS? She started playing piano in her ward while I was learning to say ‘piano’.

If you are in the one calling for twenty years, then either you’ve got a lot to learn, or dare I say it, you’ve found your pigeon hole. .. only to emerge for brief, special occasions.

Why is it so easy to pigeon hole our darling pianists? Is it because that’s all they want to do? Perhaps. Is it that hardly anyone can play? We all know that’s not it.

I’m pretty sure I’ve nailed it. So I’ll tell you why. Share my lifetime of knowledge. It’s because of that sneaky group who has managed to keep their piano ability under wraps. You know the ones? This sly group cackles quietly to themselves when they see the new girl in the ward sit at the piano for the first time. They push the ‘still learning’ twelve year old onto the piano to show off her stuff. They tickle the ivories in their own time, but not in public. They hide their little secret, and hide it well. No one knows they play, and they like it that way. And thus, they go about their varied-calling lives.

It’s time, sneaky hiders. Relieve the burden on seventy year olds everywhere who ignore their osteoporosis to sit at the piano and use their arthritic fingers to play the piano for three hours each Sunday. Won’t somebody think of the children elderly!?

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Glamour-licious

**I apologize for my lateness in posting. I have a hard time remembering what month it is, let alone what day of the week it is.**

I came across a sad realization the other day - it's been a good 10 to 15 years since I've seen a glamour shot. Why? Why?

I fear I'm stating the obvious here, but the end of the glamour shots is a tragedy on many levels.

First of all it was a great excuse to really rat that hair.


Who says looking natural is best? I say cake on that makeup!



It was a great option for all the ladies who wanted to wear a feather boa, but just couldn't find the venue to do it in.



It was flattering for young and old alike.



With so many "professional photographers" these days I'm sure competition is fierce. Maybe a good option would be to bring back the glamour shot to really set yourself apart from the rest.

Images

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

TV Charmers


A gal in my ward has a super crush on Alec Trebek.  She loves him and his ability to say the French answers in a French accent.  You know, all Alec Trebek like.  The news of her crush came as a bit of a shock to me since she’s about 25 and Mr. Trebek is pushing 70.  But then I thought, ‘heck, what’s not to love about Alec Trebek?’ He’s kind, he’s smart (that, or he just knows how to read cue cards) and he gives people money.  He’s a TV charmer.  



All that TV charm got me thinking about other TV charmers.  Some as fictional characters, some not.  Here are my top five TV charmers:



1.)   Clark Kent (Smallville)-  My 17 year old self is swooning all over this guy. Farmboy, hardworker, mysterious, handsome.   Plus he saves lives.  No biggie. 


2.)  Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)- I’ve only watched this show a handful of times but I can not get enough Phil.  Family man, tightrope walker.  It’s quirky, yet loveable. 


3.)  Matt Lauer (The Today Show)- Does this guy know how to wear a suit or what?!  Not to mention his inadvertent ability to make leg crossing look sophisticated and manly at the same time.  Plus, his interviews show he’s personable yet professional. 


4.)   Chuck Bartowski (Chuck)- Nerd meet Super Spy with great hair.  Awesome.


5.)   Brian Williams (Nightly News)- Oh, that voice.  That deep, but not to deep, journalistic voice.  And after seeing his Sesame Street Skit,  I liked him even more. 

Unfortunately for all these charmers they’ve been beaten by the real deal.   Because at the end of the day, no one will be the hardworking, quirky, leg crossing nerd with great hair and a great laugh that my husband is.  He’s a real charmer J (And that my friends, is about as sappy as I get.)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Long of It

When I met my husband my hair was a long and flowing 3 inches below my shoulders. As a chronic hair chopper this was a big a big HUGE accomplishment for me.

This is why, when he said asked me one day while we were dating, "have you ever considered having long hair?" my jaw dropped and I sat speechless. What did he mean? Instantly this image crossed my mind
 

If my hair wasn't long what was it? He said, "short."

When we got married and I grew it out for a solid 3 years on his behalf he would encourage me with "it's almost long." And "are you going to give up and cut it before it gets long?" Bless his heart (that's what you say when you really want to tell someone to shove it right?).

I'm going to go ahead and blame his hair biases on the fact that he was born and bred in Utah. Is it just me or does it seem like there are a plethora of women with "very long hair" in this state? It was a true rariety if I ever saw someone with hair at or below their bra line before moving here and those with hair that long usually were not "with it" (see the above picture). I'm willing to bet that there are more women in Utah with extremely long hair than anywhere else, and extremely long hair that is well-styled too.

I know it's "in" right now everywhere (check Pinterest for verifiable proof) to have long bohemian, wavy, center parted, braided hair and such, (and I think it's lovely) but it hasn't always been the case...except for in Utah.

I know I'm not the only one who notices these things. People have asked similar questions (exhibit A) on Yahoo!Answers which I'm pretty sure is a representative sample of public opinion.

Maybe one of these days I won't "quit" prematurely and achieve the ultimate long hair dream, but if you ever happen upon me with the above hair-do, PLEASE, awake me from my brainwashed condition and tell me stories of short-haired women in distant lands.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Review: The Hunger Games

I braved the hoards of 14-year-old girls to see The Hunger Games this weekend. Crazy? Maybe. Fun? Absolutely. I love books, and I usually love when they turn books into movies. It's fun to see if what you visualized was similar to what someone else visualized.

Keep in mind, I am pretty easily entertained. It doesn't take much for me to like a movie. Just having a night away from my kids to have a date with my man is pretty much all it takes for me to be satisfied in the theater.

(Scale of 1-10 borrowed from the expert...Erica)

  • True to the book- 8
I didn't notice any life-changing deviations from the book. I feel the story was portrayed just about as well as you could in 2 hours. Of course I wished for more little details, but it would have made for a much longer movie. My husband liked it better than the book. He thought the book was cheesy.


source
  • Acting - 9
After some of the actors they picked for the Twilight movies, I was a little skeptical about another young adult book-turned-movie. I was pleasantly surprised. I thought all of the characters were quite good. I loved Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss. She really stole the show (which is a good thing since she was the main character). I thought she was a believable heroine. Brave yet vulnerable. I think Donald Sutherland was an excellent cast for President Snow. He has that gentle but terrifying quality. I also loved Elizabeth Banks for Effie Trinket. She was just what I imagined. The career tributes were a little lame, but all in all, I was pleased.

  • Gruesome Factor - 8
I thought the gore was tactful. It had to be in there, of course, and I am glad that it wasn't over the top. It was still a little violent, but let's face it, the whole premise of the book is pretty horrendous.

  • Eye Candy - 9
I always appreciate a movie with some attractive guys. I may be married, but I'm not blind. The two main guys are pretty studly. Although, I have to discount Liam Hemsworth for being Miley Cyrus's boyfriend. Really? But if you don't find these two attractive, there is always Lenny Kravitz.


  • Costumes - 9
I adore movies with costumes. Regular clothes are just so boring. I thought the Capitol people were great. They were bright and loud and eccentric. However, I was hoping for some really weird looking ones.

Overall, I give the movie a 9. (Maybe this good review will get me in with the right people and they will cast me in the next one...)

If you haven't seen it, go. If you haven't read the books, do it. Reading is good for you.


Saturday, March 24, 2012

Trying To Be A Normal Mormon

We all remember what happened the last time my neighbors invited us over for a party.

Last time it was Oktoberfest.

This time it was St. Patrick's Day.

I'm starting to detect a common "theme" among the holidays that my neighbors choose to celebrate.

Nonetheless after last time's disaster, I felt like I needed to redeem myself a bit. That's the thing about being a Mormon among many people who are not Mormon.

You want to appear friendly, but not cheesy.
Clean, but not stuffy.
Modest, but stylish.
Casual, but appropriate.

All in all you just want to seem NORMAL and not weird. After all, I want to break any stereotypes that people may have about Mormons.

As we headed out the door, I surveyed the family to check out how normal we all seemed.

First of all, I took cookies instead of booze. (NOT NORMAL)

My husband was wearing his ward basketball get up and couldn't change because he was playing in a playoff game later that day. (NOT NORMAL)

But the real kicker was the hairdo I chose to give my daughter on this particular day:
An actual photo

This may seem innocent enough, but if we are talking about stereotypes here, this particular "do" reminds me of some others I've seen:
Yes, that is a picture of Warren Jeffs hanging.

Here's my question to you:

Is there something in our common pioneer heritage that makes us particularly good at braiding?

Or just something that makes us think that braiding is still "in"?

At any rate, I realized at this little block party that no matter how hard we try, we are just not normal to the world. But I, for one, am happily not normal.

Just glad I don't have the pressure of this guy on this one:

Friday, March 23, 2012

Career Change Time

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize you chose the wrong profession? Apparently the odds are that you will change profession (not job, profession!) three to four times in your life... so I’ve decided career change number one is just around the corner for me.

I had this realization when sitting in a packed concert hall watching a comedian, Ross Noble. If you aren’t British or Australian you may not have heard of him, but in this house he is like a member of the family. In fact, it might be time we started photoshopping his face into our family portraits because to us, he belongs. Him and Seinfeld.

This is him:
(source)

Not the most attractive man, is he? Funny people rarely are.

Anyway, as we sat in the sold out three thousand seater concert hall, my husband and I discussed how much money he would be making from this one night. At an average of $60 per ticket, 3000 people in attendance, take maybe $20,000 to hire the concert hall and he comes out with a whopping $160,000 plus merchandise sales. That’s $160,000 for standing in front of a room of people and being an idiot for two hours. I am an idiot all the time!! I could totally do that!

So we decided, it’s time for one of us to focus on being funny. It’s time to look at everyday situations and twist them around, look at them from every angle, pull weird faces and do odd body contortions that resemble the situation. Done. That way, I’d only have to work a few hours a YEAR and live a perfectly rich life.

So now, who wants to bring 2,999 of their friends and pay me $60 per ticket to watch me act like this?
(source)

Or this:
(source)

Or maybe even this:
(source)

You know you want to.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Edumacation


Although I was a student for what seemed like decades, because it was decades, I find myself missing school every once in a while. I tend to romanticize my education experience thinking it was all butterflies and rainbows. Don't get me wrong - I'm pro school and I'm grateful I was able to attend, but it certainly was a relief when it was all over. However, earlier this week I found myself on the campus of my alma mater to attend a conference and those old feelings surfaced again. Wouldn't it be fun to go to school again? I (foolishly) thought to myself. I would really enjoy getting up early every morning and attending class I reflected while looking for a parking space. Well, after sitting through three hours of lectures reality set back in. It is not "fun." It is not "relaxing." And heck, it's not even a "nice break" from the kids. In fact, when I arrived back home I had to take a 2 hour nap to recover from my exhaustion. And then I remembered: school is hard work.

That isn't to say I have stopped learning. Actually just this week I've learned a few things. Life lessons, if you will:
1) Sometimes there is no reasoning with a three year old.
2) Unless you like doing multiple loads of laundry every day it's better to use a wet wipe to clean off the spit up/pee/other excrement off of your shirt rather than actually change into something clean.
3) It is not a good idea to watch murder shows when you're home alone. Even if it is the middle of the day.
4) Although you may be stuck doing it for the rest of your life sometimes buying candy out of the quarter machine when you first walk into the grocery store to keep your kids quiet is twenty-five cents well spent.
5) There is nothing good on TV anymore. (Except Fashion Star - am I the only one who likes this show?)
6) Although it may seem like a good idea to catch up on housework, projects, etc. while both kids are napping a more appealing alternative is to join the crowd and take a nap.
7) When you can't tell if the green things poking out of the ground are weeds or flowers it's probably best to just plant some type of fast growing ground cover and move on with your life.
8) Murphy's Law is fo' real. Your kids will be angelic, predictable human beings..until your husband goes to a late night basketball game and then all #%!@ will break loose.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Confession: I Don't Like 'Dancing with the Stars'


Oh. My. Heck.  How is this show still on TV ???  If I had the gift of Sarah Mclachlan, I would express to you, via song, how terrible I think it is, in an elegant, brilliantly artistic way leaving you all open jawed wondering how you ever thought differently than me.  But I am not Sarah Mclachlan and I cannot put words and music together to persuade those around me.  Unless you consider belching the alphabet a song, and a persuasive song at that.  If that's the case, maybe I’ve sold myself short.  But probably not.

So, square one:  Dancing with the Stars.   I don’t get it.  Someone please explain to me why it’s still on TV.  

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Guest Post: Employee of theYear

Today's guest post is brought to you by a good friend of mine, Cami. I met Cami at work a few years ago. We connected very quickly because we are snobbish in all the same ways and giggle at all the same things. We both think we are very funny people, so naturally we were a hit. She is also a VERY nice and friendly person, which you will soon learn after reading this post.

Enjoy!
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Almost every time I go to a department store I am mistaken for an employee. This is not an exaggeration, people. I am talking 9 out of 10 times. Doesn't matter if I'm browsing alone, shopping with girlfriends, or looking at ties with my husband, someone will undoubtedly come up to me and ask, "where is the maternity section?" or, "Do you have this in blue?" It has been happening for years, and it happens everywhere - Gap, Dillard's, Target, etc - I have no idea why.

It used to be this incident was confined to department stores, mostly in the clothing sections. But it's getting worse. The other day I was at Wal-Mart and a woman asked me where the marshmallows were. At first I thought maybe I just looked like a person who knows where the marshmallows should be, but then she noticed I was holding a basket and a purse and realized her mistake. "Oh, I'm sorry, you're wearing the same pants as the people who work here." 
Khakis.
Honest mistake. I was able to tell her where the marshmallows were though (baking section, on the bottom shelf - one of the trickiest items to find!)

When this happens it is usually awkward for both the mistaken shopper and myself, though I am getting pretty used to it.

But the other day, something happened that even I couldn't believe. 

I was shopping at Costco, pushing a cart three times my size, maybe four. It was after my clinicals at the hospital, and I was wearing - get this - BRIGHT BLUE NURSING SCRUBS. And squeaky white nursing shoes. 

This is literally what I looked like:
A woman walked up to me and said, "Excuse me, where do you keep the Epsom salts?" 

I was speechless. I looked down at myself to make sure I hadn't unknowingly changed into a Costco uniform. Then I looked back at the lady, who was still looking at me, waiting for an answer. 

"Ummmm.... I think they might be next to the pharmacy, like by the soap?" 

She then asked if I could show her where that was.

I escorted her to the Epsom salts. 

She never seemed to realize I was not a Costco employee, and, in fact, wearing nursing scrubs.

Monday, March 19, 2012

I Missed the Bandwagon

There was a distinct moment when I knew I was no longer cool. I was 21 and I walked into the tanning place to get my daily dose of cancer. The girl behind the counter looked me up and down, lingered on my pants, sighed and shook her head. I'm sure she wasn't a day over 16. I went into the tanning booth and teared up thinking that my days of fashion glory were finally over. Little did I know that 9 years, one marriage, and two kids later, I would really hit the pits of fashion despair.

First of all, I have absolutely no clue what the style is at the moment, and at the end of the day when I have peanut butter and jelly streaked down my shirt, I realize, sweatpants work just fine for what I need to accomplish. But, since it is socially frowned upon to go everywhere in your sweatpants, I really try to notice what people around me are wearing.

With that said, there are a few things that I just can't bring myself to get on board with.



1. Unmatched nail color. I am a purist at heart and looking down at my nails to see 2 or more colors just makes me a bit ill.

2. Chipped nail polish. Unless you want to look like a hooker, your nails should either be chip-free, or polish-free.

3. I was in Target the other day and saw this bag. I can deal with all of the neon going on right now. In fact, some things are pretty cute. But neon AND a southwest design. Nope.


Actually, the whole southwest thing just isn't doing it for me. Could these shoes possibly be the ugliest things ever? (I'm sorry if you are wearing them right now.)
source

I'm pretty sure Kimmy Gibbler once wore this on Full House. I don't think Kimmy's fashions should ever be reproduced.

4. Unmatched socks. Once again, it may be the purist thing (or an OCD thing) but unmatched socks just look like you were lazy and didn't fold your laundry. In fact, I may wonder if you even did your laundry.


5. While we are on the subject of socks, should they really be worn with every kind of shoe?

6. What in the heck are these? Underwear, her little sister's shorts, Spanx?


What fashion trends are you going to boycott?

Saturday, March 17, 2012

On My Soapbox: Delaware!

Happy St. Patty's day...I'm not Irish. I don't care. Currently wearing purple. On to the post:


Time to get ready to move again.

What?! But Lindsay you spent a majority of your time last summer stewing about moving and then boring all of us to tears about it all. How could this be?

That's right people. I've been married for 8 years now. This will be my 8th move. I may start a "Stop the Madness; Lindsay Wants To Stay Put" online petition, and I fully expect you all to sign it and then get 5 of your closest friends to sign it. Spam everyone you know! This is serious.

You'll never guess where I'm moving either because I can almost guarantee that you've never been there:

Delaware!

"Hi. I'm in Delaware" (Name that movie...showing my age?)

Funny story (maybe it's not that funny): We took a drive to Delaware (about 2 hours north) in December. In preparation for the outing, I used the Google to try to find something to do while in Delaware. I found a list of activities someone had compiled of things that Delaware had to offer; number one on the list?...

Washington D.C! (Where I am now.)

That alone should tell us something.

Other "fun" things to do in Delaware (according to said list):
New York!
Philadelphia!

It's clear that this person loves Delaware.

Should I be worried?

Friday, March 16, 2012

Guest Post - Memory Lapse

Today, your post is brought to you by my best friend Kate. Kate and I have known each other so long that she even stole the name planned for me at birth. She was born 2 months before me and was named Kate... which was meant to be my name...hence why my name, Katrina, is an extension of her name. Kate is wonderful! Hilarious! Married to a hilarious man and has 2 hilarious children and a third on the way... who I'm sure will be just as entertaining. Enjoy :)
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We normally have 9am church but I've decided to go to Mum and Dad's ward at 1pm instead. Maybe if my husband finishes early he can come with us too. We have a nice relaxing morning and we start to get ready a bit later than we should.

My three year old, Lucy, is a little crazed at this time of day because she's needing her sleep. Her dialogue for the last hour has been:

'I want grapes and cold water from the fridge! I am not getting dressed! I want to sit on my other chair! Jeremy is on my sheepskin! I'm doing play dough! I'm not doing a wee okay Mummy?' (even though I can tell she's busting) I want to see Grandma now! I want more cold water from the fridge! No! Not tap water, COLD water from the FRIDGE!'

Now picture this all in a loud whiney voice accompanied by crying and very fast stamping of feet (aka Riverdance) when the answer is not the one she wanted. I say, What the heck is your problem, can you just BE QUIET!!!!!!??? 'Please go and sit on your bed until you can come out and talk to me in a kind voice'. Meanwhile , my three month old is on the floor on his play mat amusing himself and even falls asleep about 15mins before we need to leave. (I don't have favourites, I don't have favourites.)

I'm running around like a loony packing bags and snacks and getting Lucy on the toilet and getting everything in the car. Finally I flop down into my seat and we leave the house, on time and without any yelling. (I didn't yell!! YES!) We drive 5 minutes and she is asleep. I have Mormon Tabernacle Choir cranked to chill me out. About 30 minutes from home and my husband calls me on the phone, he's just finished work and just been dropped home by a mate. “Hi” I say... “Lucy is evil today but is asleep now”.

Him: Um, Kate what are you doing?
Me: ummm....driving to church?
Him: Did you forget something???!!

You know that feeling when your brain goes a bit weird and you can see everything you've done for the last 2 hours in ultra ultra slow motion? I thought about everything I had done and then said (probably also in slow motion) Uuuummm....nooooo whaaatt?

Him: I don't know, maybe JEREMY??!

I left our 3 month old son asleep on his play mat at home by himself for like half an hour. He's just so quiet and non-invasive (sounds like surgery) that I forgot he was there! Thank goodness he was asleep the whole time. I turned around and went back to pick them both up.

Michael couldn't believe I had done it, and will pay me out for eternity about it.

Sorry Jeremy, I blame the 'cold water from the fridge' fiasco.