Recently, I’ve been noticing a significant number of facebook statuses that begin this way.
Example 1: That awkward moment when you bite into your apple only to realize it’s a tomato.
That’s not awkward. That might be mildly unfortunate, but unless you were surrounded by a room of potential dates who all saw you bite into the tomato and squirt tomato juice all over yourself as your pants fell down and you slipped on a banana peel, this does not qualify as awkward.
Example 2: That awkward moment when you go to an all you can eat buffet and are full after 2 plates.
Also not awkward. Waste of money, perhaps, but not awkward. If you fell into the all you can eat buffet and as you squelched your way out of the strawberry jelly you leaned back into your old high school principal with just a little too much momentum causing you both to fall into a jelly covered heap on the floor, that would be awkward.
Example 3: That awkward moment when the cop shutting down the party knows everyone, but has to be a professional in front of 7 of his colleagues.
Wait. This one might actually be awkward. Imagine it. You’re a police officer on your everyday patrols. You hear communications over the radio asking you to go check out a noise complaint. It’s a party on a Tuesday night, and the neighbours are not amused. You head over to the party and find the home owner outside. As you chat to him asking him to shut the party down, a friend comes up behind you. Oh no. As you look around, you realise this is a party FULL of people you know. But not only those you know, but your sister and brother in law are there, some girls you dated before you got married, and around 400 singles who used to be in your circle. Some who still are. Now, without seeming like a power hungry cop, you have to ask them to leave. But there’s 400 of them! And they all want to have a chat. To each other and to you. Be professional or have a chat? Sadly, you have to be professional. And being professional as a cop means giving people specific orders to leave, threatening to arrest them if they don’t comply, and basically getting on everyone’s bad side. The uniform and flashing lights seem cool until you’re arresting your friends.
Now that’s awkward.
I know. It happened to a friend of a friend of mine.