Monday, January 23, 2012

Couple-Friends



I think one of the hardest things about moving is making new friends. Something even harder than that? Making friends with other couples. Is this just me? Or do other people struggle with this? Maybe this is where I find out that no one else has problems making friends and I'm just awkward, and now it's 7th grade all over again. Over the years, my husband and I have made some fantastic couple friends. However, it usually takes a few weirdos before we find a couple we both like. If I like the woman, he usually thinks the guy is a pansy. If he thinks the guy is cool, I usually find the wife a total bore. It is hard to find two people that match just right. Every time I set up a dinner, or a get together with someone new, my husband asks me two questions..."Does he know anything about sports? Does he wear fancier clothes than his wife?". Usually, that is enough for him to get along with the guy.

I love the times when we meet a new couple and we all hit it off right away. No awkward silences, no boring political talk, and no over-sharing. But what are you supposed to do when you thought you liked a couple and then you both end up not liking them. Are you supposed to just be nice and pretend to be their friends? Do you break-up with them? Do you just think of excuses why you can't hang out anymore? (Personally, I like the last option.)

Once, a few years ago, a girl I worked with asked us to go to a movie with her and her husband and a few of their friends. I really got along with her, so I thought we would all have a good time. The morning of the movie, she walked into my office and said, "Hey! So, my husband asked if we could go out with you guys another night. He would like to get to know both of you before we introduce you to our other friends, just in case it doesn't work out with us." How was that for straight forward? I guess some people really take making friends a little more seriously than I do. Needless to say, we never got around to that double date.

Once you are married, does the dating process continue...just in couples? If so, I would rather just stay home. I had enough dating.

8 comments:

  1. Nope, not just you. Finding a couple friend IS a lot like dating. It is so exhausting sometimes I'd rather not start.

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  2. I can barely find close female friends or get my husband to find guy friends seperately, let alone couple or family friends. It seems so impossible that we have practically given up & just try to let our kids hang out with their friends, which is a whole other topic--dealing with parents of your kids friends, how well you get to know them, can you trust them with your child...

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  3. I know befor we got together with you guys one of the first questions the Mr. Asked me was, "does he sew?". When I told him yes, he was sold :)

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  4. Came across this online: http://www.greatreporter.com/content/pairing-couples-now-seek-friends-online

    ..and i thought of your post. ;)

    So I guess finding your 'couple in shining armor' has become that much easier! Good luck finding yours. ;)

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  5. I just had a conversation yesterday with my sister that friendships are harder when you are married then when you are single. I sware finding couple friends that you both like is soooooo hard! I am in the dilemma right now of trying to decide what to do with a girl I really like but my husband HATES her husband and actually I cant stand either. it really stinnks!

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  6. Oh man, I just finished drafting a post about this same problem. I feel like my husband and I live on an island - in the middle of suburbia.

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  7. Bahahahaha! Ok, seriously loving your blog:D Something my husband and I (and I with my girlfriends) chat about often.

    Office example, hilarious.

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  8. My wife and I had trouble meeting couple friends too, I started a site for couples to meet platonic couple friends. If anyone is looking for friends its worth checking out CouplesList. www.coupleslist.com

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