Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Okay ladies, life is hard. Being a wife and mother is no exception and sometimes it's pretty thankless work. We all like a little recognition now and again (maybe a prized spot on that "10 things I'm thankful for list")....

So why in the world was I surprised speechless to learn of "push presents?"

Never heard of them? They are the gifts women get from their spouse upon delivering their bundle of joy--also called "baby bauble."According to one article push can have two connotations:
“Push” as in, “I the mother, having been through the wringer and pushed out this blessed event, hereby claim my reward.” Or “push” as in, “I’ve delivered something special and now I’m pushing you, my husband/boyfriend, to follow suit.”

It's not that I was surprised to hear that gifts were given (how nice and thoughtful), but surprised to hear the percentages of women who expect them (I'll spare you from my entitlement speech). One survey done by BabyCenter a few years ago found that 38% of women received pushed presents and 55% wanted one (again, who doesn't enjoy some recognition).

I can't help but think of what Eliza R. Snow said as quoted here by Julie B. Beck:

"Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters?" 
The standard seems to be lavish jewelry (firmly supported by a quick Google images search), as promoted in this ad for diamond earrings “She delivered your first born; now give her twins.” However, I would much rather have a homemade coupon book of things like:
  • I will attempt to learn how to change diapers
  • I will not ask "what is for dinner" any night this week
  • I will wash all of the lasagna pans from thoughtful neighbors
I'm really interested in hearing your pear shaped thoughts on the subject. Should I be demanding a push present myself? (Even if I did I'm pretty sure my husband would laugh at me--there's nothing like a $2000 jewelry bill to tack on to the hospital charges).

8 comments:

  1. I personally didn't expect anything like that at all. Your husband will be going through a LOT as it is. Mine especially had to take over quite a bit through my first week or 2 after having a C-section. He had to help me do everything, and to me there is no greater way to show me he is thankful for, and loves me. I think buying "things" at such a time and not just being thankful for and focusing on the amazing gift god just gave you is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

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  2. I have never heard of this! It's weird, in my opinion. I think women should be grateful for the miracle that just occurred (even though it is freakin' hard work) and not expect some sort of additional "prize."

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  3. I have had 2 c-sections, and I agree that my husband's help afterwards is thanks enough. However, after my 2nd c-section he did buy me season 6 of "The Office". Then again that could have been just as much for him as it was for me.

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  4. I am not against push presents. Let's be honest, I am not against any kind of present. I don't think it should be forced upon your husband, but if wants to, let him! I got a book that I wanted after I had baby #1. After baby #2 I got new running shoes. When I was tired and dealing with the dreaded baby-blues, it was a great surprise :)

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  5. A spontaneous gift is always appreciated, but to expect one? Come on!! Jewelry of high quality? Um not worth the money; I've got news for you, after a newborn you'll have nowhere to wear your fancy jewelry. Start saving for your mini-van or your SUV (or diapers for that matter).

    I'll tell you the best push present my husband is giving me tonight...a trip to the grocery store alone to buy my Thanksgiving food needs. That's the best gift a mom of three could ask for, trust me.

    Sorry...long comment, but I once heard of a girl who demanded 6 presents a year from her husband (Christmas, Anniversary, Birthday, Easter, Valentines, and Mother's Day). Yeah, minus Easter, I think most of these are pretty standard, but when you get all "You HAVE to get me a gift on ALL of these" it takes away a bit of the romance of it, and you'll probably end up with a bunch of stuff he bought out of desperation due to your demands instead of thoughtful gifts. Personally, I kinda like the times we say, "Let's forget gifts for each other and spend money on a really nice date instead."

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  6. Yeah, if my husband were to get me something after having a baby, of course it would be appreciated! But I'm not going to demand or expect it! That just sounds selfish. Plus, what better gift could there be than a new baby?? Hello? Great post!

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  7. I think they sound fun, but I would never expect one. I don't know about anyone else but I was STARVING after I gave birth. I like to believe that my husband got me the best push present: a double bacon cheeseburger and a large diet coke from Wendy's. I have never tasted anything so amazing. (Except the turkey sandwiches from the hospital- they were pretty amazing as well!)

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  8. My husband has always brought me flowers and I love that, I don't expect them but do look forward to them. I have never heard of these " push presents " I myself wouldn't expect one but wouldn't turn one down either:) haha

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