Last year, I taught Year 9 English. Kids are not thrilled about English. This is especially true when you’re teaching the ‘low literacy’ kids. You know, a class of 25 students of which 20 are boys who are actually pretty smart but would rather throw spit balls, kick each other’s chairs out, and flirt with the girls than actually read anything.
There was one delightful little critter in one of my classes who almost every lesson would say something about my ‘big booty’ (it’s true, baby got back). Typically, I would change the subject, threaten him with detention, or just ignore him. But one day…
It was a Friday, 11.20 am and the crows were squawking ominously. I was just locking up a classroom after fourth period. As I turned around to head down the stairs toward my staffroom, I saw this same kid approaching with a big group of his friends. It was about to begin. He called out ‘Hey Miss, Alex in Year 11 agrees with me that you’ve got a big butt’. Now, I can’t be blamed for what I said in response. I was three months pregnant and hormonal… nuff said.
I responded, ‘Really? Would you like me to tell all of your friends here what I think is big or small on you?’ He looked at me like I’d just kicked him where the sun don’t shine. And let’s face it. I had.
I felt a bit bad for him when his friends laughed as hard as they did. Only a bit.
Needless to say, he never spoke out of turn again. Teacher 1: Student 0.