Wednesday, September 21, 2011

My Swimsuit Says I'm 29 but My Nose Plug Says I'm 80


Can you breath out your nose whilst underwater?  If you can, you get a gold star and a certificate of completion from the tadpoles level one swim school.  Because I bet (and I’m not a gambler) that four-year-olds in level one swim school can breath out their nose underwater.  But somehow, after all my years of swim lessons, I managed to advance each level without passing off this skill.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t blackmail any of my instructors in my elementary years.  So it seems I must have faked it.  Because I still plug my nose. 

Being a nose plugger isn’t as bad as you may think though, if you swim at the YMCA where the old folks come out in full force.  I might be a little self conscience swimming with a nose plug at Gold’s Gym with the non-nose-plug-20-somethings, but those old ladies at the Y are brimming with confidence in their swim attire; saggy skin, nose plugs and all!  It’s truly refreshing.  And if they can wear a swimsuit in public at 80, then I can wear a nose plug in public at 29!  And wear a nose plug I shall! 


Now, off to the pool.  Please bless that none of those old ladies are peeing in the water while I swim laps.  

3 comments:

  1. How warm is your pool? Then you can judge how many old ladies are peeing in it. But rest assured, you won't be getting any pee water up your nose :)

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  2. I flunked swim lessons in Virginia because I wouldn't stop plugging my nose. To this day I plug my nose while swimming and my husband will never let me live it down. I even have the urge to plug my nose while showering... sometimes.

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  3. I plug my nose too. I'm always ashamed, especially when swimming with small children who are not. How DO they do it?

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