Can you breath out your nose whilst underwater? If you can, you get a gold star and a certificate of completion from the tadpoles level one swim school. Because I bet (and I’m not a gambler) that four-year-olds in level one swim school can breath out their nose underwater. But somehow, after all my years of swim lessons, I managed to advance each level without passing off this skill. I’m pretty sure I didn’t blackmail any of my instructors in my elementary years. So it seems I must have faked it. Because I still plug my nose.
Being a nose plugger isn’t as bad as you may think though, if you swim at the YMCA where the old folks come out in full force. I might be a little self conscience swimming with a nose plug at Gold’s Gym with the non-nose-plug-20-somethings, but those old ladies at the Y are brimming with confidence in their swim attire; saggy skin, nose plugs and all! It’s truly refreshing. And if they can wear a swimsuit in public at 80, then I can wear a nose plug in public at 29! And wear a nose plug I shall!
Now, off to the pool. Please bless that none of those old ladies are peeing in the water while I swim laps.