Wednesday, September 21, 2011

My Swimsuit Says I'm 29 but My Nose Plug Says I'm 80

Can you breath out your nose whilst underwater?  If you can, you get a gold star and a certificate of completion from the tadpoles level one swim school.  Because I bet (and I’m not a gambler) that four-year-olds in level one swim school can breath out their nose underwater.  But somehow, after all my years of swim lessons, I managed to advance each level without passing off this skill.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t blackmail any of my instructors in my elementary years.  So it seems I must have faked it.  Because I still plug my nose. 

Being a nose plugger isn’t as bad as you may think though, if you swim at the YMCA where the old folks come out in full force.  I might be a little self conscience swimming with a nose plug at Gold’s Gym with the non-nose-plug-20-somethings, but those old ladies at the Y are brimming with confidence in their swim attire; saggy skin, nose plugs and all!  It’s truly refreshing.  And if they can wear a swimsuit in public at 80, then I can wear a nose plug in public at 29!  And wear a nose plug I shall! 

Now, off to the pool.  Please bless that none of those old ladies are peeing in the water while I swim laps.  


  1. How warm is your pool? Then you can judge how many old ladies are peeing in it. But rest assured, you won't be getting any pee water up your nose :)

  2. I flunked swim lessons in Virginia because I wouldn't stop plugging my nose. To this day I plug my nose while swimming and my husband will never let me live it down. I even have the urge to plug my nose while showering... sometimes.

  3. I plug my nose too. I'm always ashamed, especially when swimming with small children who are not. How DO they do it?