Friday, September 2, 2011

Blasphemers

Well folks, it's that time of year again when all the BYU football fans (which I think is short for "fanatic" right?) come out of the wood work. 

I think you know the scene...
... blogrolls updated with posts about the new football season or the latest game
... the Costco parking lot teeming with BYU or U flags waving proudly on minivans
... families declaring their loyalty to teams with big lit up letters in their living room windows
... testimony meetings at church infiltrated with final scores.

It is also the time of year that my husband and I have to crawl in a hole and pretend we are not affiliated with BYU. 


Utah County
My husband and I
fa·nat·ic  [fuh-nat-ik]  –noun
1. A person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics or college football (emphasis added). 

blas·phe·mer  [blas-fuh-mee-r] –noun
            1.  One who shows irreverent 
             behavior toward anything
             held sacred.
             He uttered blasphemies
             against life itself and his   
                   alma mater.
            

Why you might ask? Because if we in any way appear to be connected with BYU everyone automatically assumes we're fans which then leads to awkward interactions. 

Case in point--
Last year, I made the mistake of wearing a BYU T-shirt to the gym. A random man approached me and my husband. 


Random man : "So did you guys go the game on Saturday? Wasn't it great?"
Husband: [insert blank stare here]
Me: The football game hun, BYU. 
Husband: Oh, uh... No we weren't there. 
Man: Oh well, it was a really good game. [Man leaves, hanging his head at our disgracefulness]. 
Me: I should probably put away my BYU shirt for the next six months, eh?
Husband: Ya, or we should start keeping up on the stats so we can know what people are talking about. 

Don't get me wrong, we love BYU (I even go as far in professing my love as to continue sending hefty checks to the institution every 4 months). 

But...

We do not watch college football. Not even BYU. In all honesty I've only been to two BYU football games in my whole 5 years at BYU. Phew, I've said it. 

I could use the excuse that we don't have TV and Netflix doesn't stream it, but even then we could check the scores online or watch with friends. 

There is no excuse for our blasphemy. We simply just do not care about people we don't know running around the field with a ball.

[Disclaimer: If you are a BYU fan, because the odds are you are, we mean no disrespect. Just understand, if there comes a lull in a conversation between you and II, we won't be able to make small talk about the game.]

1 comment:

  1. Seriously those BYU fans are crazy! But unlike other college fans, at least they are sober crazies :)

    ReplyDelete