Monday, September 26, 2011

Bear Food

You know the people that die doing stupid things? Like trying to surf during a hurricane, lion tamers, people that try to jump 50 cars on a dirt bike…the extremists? I am pretty much the opposite of those kind of people. I am Little Miss Safety Pants. I never try to defy death. However, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I still do stupid things.

Two weeks ago I was visiting my parents in Colorado. They live in the middle of nowhere. I came home late one night, got out of the car and noticed the gorgeous stars. You never see the stars in DC. Unless all the power goes out….then I guess you could see them. But, you would probably be busy bolting your door and protecting your children from looters….I digress. Anyway, I stood out in the dark enjoying the stars for a few minutes. I walked inside and went straight into the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I started brushing I heard something outside making a lot of noise. So, I went back to the front door and walked outside. At the edge of the lawn, there was a huge black bear. About 20 feet from where I had just been stargazing. At this point I should have gone back inside. But, I didn’t. I said hello. I was intrigued. I also noticed he was eating the apples off of my dad’s apple tree which really irritates him. So, I decided to try to scare it off. Well, I’ll tell you what. When they say bears are more afraid of us than we are of them, that isn’t true. It wasn’t afraid of me at all. I yelled. I stomped. I whacked the house with my hands. I clapped. I whistled.

It snorted at me.

That was when I decided to go back inside.

Luckily the bear didn’t eat me while I was stargazing and even luckier that it didn’t eat me while I was being an idiot.


  1. I'm surprised you didn't jump on him and go for a ride....because you are just that crazy.

  2. This gave me a good giggle. You're brave! I probably would have screamed for Joe just like I do when I see a spider. ; )