Around these here parts we have a very special mailman. He is unlike any other mailman I know because he is, well, gorgeous. He has thick full hair, is constantly smiling (and not a creepy smile, but a genuine smile), he is not overweight, short, acne scarred or deformed in anyway. He is the McDreamy of mailmen.
I seriously need to contact USPS and tell them he needs to be their mailman model. He says hello, waves across from the street and is just generally a very gorgeous, nice, happy mailman.
And sorry all you single ladies, he is married. And so am I, but that doesn’t stop my friends and I from being very grateful for having a nice guy to look at come 3:00 p.m. (which is about the time our children start peeing everywhere and smearing peanut butter in their hair.)
I would show you a picture but I’m not that much of a creeper, so just use your imaginations.
So the other day I was on my computer, at 3:00, waiting for our mailman to come and hopefully drop off my Pilates DVD that I ordered. Did I tell you he personally brings me all my packages because I’ve had stuff stolen off my porch and from my mailbox before? Yeah, he’s that kind of gorgeous mailman. Anyway, so I’m waiting for the mailman when a homeless man comes up to my mailbox and leaves with a bunch of mail in his arms! I bolt out the door, ready to yell at the homeless man about federal offenses, when I see him get into the mail truck to go to the apartments across the street.
He wasn’t a homeless man, he was, in fact, the substitute mailman.
(The homeless mailman kind of looks like this)
I had forgotten what a real one looked like.
Alas, he didn’t steal my mail, but in fact had brought me a pile of insurance papers, credit card offers and that lame fake newspaper everyone gets once a week. I wasn’t worried though because my Pilates DVD still hadn’t come so I would get to see the hottie again, right? No. Homeless man is now my mailman and I will forever miss my cute mailman.
Don’t take what you have for granted ladies, especially good looking mailmen, that is the moral of the story.