Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Bad Dates: A Summary and Guide

In association with the “Bad Date Mini Series, ” I have conjured (no, I am not attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) up a list of my own (and very real) bad date experiences.

(Note to all male daters: please do not do any of these things if you are trying to get a second date, get kissed, or get married. Because you will fail, as did all of these dates. Leaving them dateless and thus kiss-less with nothing to brag about to any of their buddies the next day.)

You can liken my experiences with your own if you’re ever in question about the status of the date.

You know you’re on a bad date when:

1.) Your date makes you wear party hats in his apartment while playing board games.

2.) Your date summons several of his friends that you have never met to embrace you in a spiraling group hug.

3.) Your date makes you meet him at his apartment instead of picking you up at your own dwelling place.

4.) Your date gives you a high five at the doorstep.

5.) Your 16 year old date suggests to your 16 year old self that you should double with his parents for dinner.

6.) Your date drops you off in the street in front of your house and drives away before you even get to the door.

7.) Your date stands you up on your birthday.

8.) Your date stands you up on Valentines Day.

Okay, now I’m just getting depressed. And it’s likely you’re feeling sorry for me too, leading you to the nearest Gap to buy me a sympathy shirt. How thoughtful. Whoops, I’ve digressed.

So, in conclusion, my dear single male friends, when in doubt, just pull your heads out of your butts. That should help you see the common sense of dating more clearly.


  1. I swear men just have no common sense. My cousin went on a blind date the other day and as they were eating dinner her date leaned across the table and told her that he could help her count calories if she wanted him too. She declined the help and asked him to take her home. Now that was a pretty bad date for her.

  2. I had no idea you had so many bad dates! I'm surprised you kept dating at all.