Tuesday, July 5, 2011

HipSlimmers

Those Dead Sea lotion salesmen at the mall never stood a chance. My husband hates shopping with me anywhere a salesman is involved. I interrogate them. I dismiss their gimmicky claims. I despise fads (mostly diets). I am the most skeptical consumer you will ever meet.

Why, then does this product seem so attractive to me?



Ladies, I'd like to introduce you to the HipSlimmer--designed to shrink your hips back down to size, or even smaller, after a pregnancy. No worries, I haven't jumped on the pregnancy band wagon just yet (but when I do this blog may need a new name..."pregnancy shaped thoughts" anyone?). It's just that I tend to over-read, over-prepare and over-analyze most everything I do (future pregnancies and children included).

There are many variations of this on the market.


Most notable is the Belly Bandit, which comes with rave reviews from real-life celebrity moms like Jessica Alba and Kourtney Kardashian who actually designed the high-fashion model depicted below. 



I'm sure all you mom's out there are rolling your eyes and wishing me luck. I would be too. Usually. Unfortunately, I think there is just enough vanity in me to give it a go.

What have I got to lose? Future baby belly? Hopefully. Social self-respect? Yes.

Even if I do give-in and try these, I will never admit it publicly and I will definitely not be sporting this accessory in waking daylight hours for all to see.


Isn't it kind of oxymoronic to wear something this hideous while trying to improve your looks?

I'm not that desperate.

5 comments:

  1. I bought one =) Never wore it over my clothes though thats for sure! The sale a few of them at babiesRus!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I tend to think that over-reading, preparing and analyzing can only produce good results when it comes to life altering decisions. But maybe I think that because I do the same thing you do :)

    I've actually been looking into a belly one of these called a Taut, apparently designed by Brooke Burke. Why do all these celebrities have genius ideas? The description says, "For centuries, women from around the world have been wrapping their post-pregnancy bellies to get back into shape quickly and naturally. It is believed that a belly wrap reduces the size of the swollen uterus, reduces water retention in the belly, and helps you lose inches fast, all while supporting that unwanted baggy baby skin!" I don't know about the baggy baby skin?? but maybe I'll have to try the belly AND the hip one. Of course, not over my clothing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've seen stranger contraptions; why not give it a go. I may just have to try it come October! I'll let you know, and America know if it actually works!

    ReplyDelete
  4. They work. My mom used to put on her tightest skinny jeans (think 70's with high heals) as soon as she came home from the hospital and swore by it. After 7 kids and no bread dough stomach- I'm a believer.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a friend who does this with an ace bandage and she said it works wonders for her. I hadn't heard about these with my first two boys but if I get pregnant in the future, it might be my first purchase!!

    ReplyDelete