Nope. Not Australia.
I really wish I had either gone to Australia on a date or dated an Aussie (mainly for the accent) back in my dating days, but ‘tis not so.
I’m talking about the Underworld, Hades, or for the more liberal of you, Hell.
I used to think that there was a limit to what kinds of theme dates people could come up with in Provo, but after experiencing a date where “Hell” was the theme, I realized I thought wrong. So what does a date where “Hell” is the theme look like? Let me tell you. (Note: I’m not kidding or exaggerating on any of this...all true).
*First of all, you’re instructed that the only colors you’re allowed to wear are black and red.
*Then you go to some old house where the dudes have decorated with fake blood splatters and crate paper that spells out the word “Hell” all over.
*You eat pizza with “Hell” spelled out in pepperoni.
*You’re peer pressured into bobbing for apples even though the gal who went before you had 5 inch thick makeup on, or at least she did before she stuck her entire face in the water right before your turn.
*You make gingerbread “Hell” houses.
*You all go around in a circle and tell your worst date or "Date From Hell" story (I couldn’t use the current date I was on) and somewhere in the story you have to use the word “Hell". It’s fun when everyone uses “Hell” as a place in their stories (and I’m guessing for the first time in their lives), but when you use it as a “swear word” no one laughs, they all just sit there in unbelief.
*You watch “Bedazzled” starring Brenden Frazier, but secretly, you don’t watch at all because you’re too busy staring out the window, wondering if you’ll ever rejoin normal society again.
*Date lasts about 8 hours
I guess I have to give them props in the creativity department, but am I the only girl who when it came to dating, thought that creativity was overrated? There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with dinner and a movie, Guys. NOTHING. I have yet to meet a girl who was appalled that a guy was taking her to dinner and a movie. That’s why they’re classics; everyone loves them.
So, you're probably wondering if I married this guy.
Are you kidding me?
Note: I apologize for swearing on this blog. This was a special occasion. You understand.