Saturday, July 23, 2011

Craigslist Proves That People Are Nuts

I'm moving.

Across the country.

I'm in the market for some new furniture.

I've looked on craigslist or similar sites before looking to find a screaming deal or something that's sort of old and unique to furnish my new digs with.

Why do I bother?

People must think that other people are dum dums.

Why else would they advertise this:

as a "beautiful futon that looks great in any apartment or house."

Asking price?


You see, it's not just cars that depreciate over the course of 20 years.

EVERYTHING depreciates over the course of 20 years.

My point is the same in this special case:

where the word "vintage" and the crafty placement of pillows are meant to make these gems look like they are worth $450 in 2011.

My rules of selling stuff on craigslist:
1. Do not EVER ask more than $500 for something. I don't care that you bought it 15 years ago for over $2000; it ain't new.
2. If it's junk and you know it's junk, offer it for free.
3. If it doesn't work or run, don't bother.
4. Clean your space before taking a picture of the items you're selling. No one wants to buy anything from a dump.
5. DO NOT place your pet on your furniture, take a picture, and then try to sell said piece of furniture. Gross.
6. If it's ugly, don't tell others it's beautiful. In fact, if you're including a picture, do not use any adjectives to describe it at all.
7. Friends don't sell friends garbage.

And aren't we all friends?

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