Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Amateur Hour at The Parenting Club

I feel bad to a certain extent for all my children, but particularly my first child. The problem is that with each new step in her growing up, someone else is going through it for the first time too:


You know, The Parent.

And I'm here to tell you that about 90% of the time I'm winging it.

So it was a few weeks ago when I'd been feeling that at the age of 5, it was probably time to at least introduce a topic we'd never really discussed:

Private Parts

I didn't want it to be weird or awkward or anything so I decided that I would casually bring it up while getting dressed in the morning.

I think my phrasing went something like this:

"Hey, do you know what we call the parts that your swimsuit covers? Private parts. That means that we don't show them to anyone, and no one (but mom, dad, sister, grandma, etc.) should ever see them. If someone ever tries to look at them, you need to tell mom or dad. Ok?."

My daughter said something like:

"Ok, Mom."

I thought that was sufficient for her age. So that was that, and we went on with our day.

Our day consisted of a trip to Costco (sadly, a weekly occurance). I had child #2 riding in the cart and child #1 walking along side the cart.

We were trucking through the produce section when child #1 very loudly proclaimed,


Luckily said lady (a clean-looking woman of middle age) didn't hear her or if she did didn't react.

Three things:
1. At least she told me (and about 20 other people)
2. Kids are the best
3. Heaven help me when we have to talk about sex. Yikes.


  1. My little one is only two so thank goodness I don't have to cross that path quite yet but I am very glad to know other parents are winging it with their first. Uh, seriously I sometimes wonder...what the heck am I doing? I never know! Too Funny though!