Wednesday, June 8, 2011

About Bentley (I just couldn't resist)

Ok. So I had another post all ready to go (you lucky ducks get to read that one on Saturday), but then I watched Monday night's episode of The Bachelorette. I was saving all my Bachelorette material for one big bash of a post at the end of the season, but I just couldn't help from getting all this stuff out there.

I don't know whom I'm more mad at, Bentley or Ashley.

Probably Ashley.

As stated before
, she was warned. She was told before she even came, by who else, Michelle Money (whom I miss terribly, by the way). Bentley was there to promote a career (which he did a terrible job at seeing as I have no idea what he does). And he was only planning on staying a couple of weeks (which he did). Even if she didn't know all of that beforehand, this guy had no obvious brains (of the common sense sort), no personality, was not terribly good looking or charming, mumbled, had a kid and an ex-wife, they never really went on a real date, and I'm pretty sure she knew nothing about his divorce. WHY ALL THE TEARS?! What is her problem?

Oh, right. They had a CONNECTION (a.k.a. a great make out).

For the record, Monday night's connection count (the number of times "connections" were made): 5

Where do the Bentleys and Michelles of Utah live? Where do they hang out? How do they find/know each other? I'm guessing they met at the Branbury, Riv, or Raintree back in '01. If so, that was ten years ago and they are still basking in the drama of college life? It's no wonder that the Bachelor is coming for an open casting call to Utah if this is the "kwality" people we produce.

Dear Ashley,
Don't be sad at losing Bentley. Sure, you missed out on living in a brown stucco mansion, being a step mom, a few appearances on Good Things Utah, and a lifetime of being told you are fat, but in the end, you'll now be able to succeed in your dental career. There are no dental schools in Utah. Oh, wait. You were planning on becoming a dancer anyway? (She's now danced 4 times this season, and has yet to check out anyone's molars.) Well then, I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

Dear Bentley,
What the devil is your problem? You know that all of America sees what you say to the camera, right? You know that you never promoted your "career," right? You know that you now have NO SHOT with Emily (whom I hear is available) or any other woman in America, right? You know that the point of going on the show with an ulterior motive is to keep your sinister thoughts on the down low, right? Even Justin (Rated R) the wrestler, and Wes the country singer with a girlfriend knew that.

That's all I have to say about that.

In other news, turns out that in French-Canadian Maine (it's practically Canada) where Ashley is from, they have never heard of a roast or sarcasm. Wow, I've never seen someone not be able to take a joke like that. Although the lack of humor was probably the most offensive part of that whole date.

I loved that William, our resident impersonator and cell phone salesman, thought that this could be his big break. He actually had visions of roasting other celebrities with Jeffrey Ross. That's delusional. Instead, he just blew his chances of ever becoming a comedian or making it to the end of the show and will, most definitely, continue to sell cell phones for the next 20 years.

Ok. Got that out there. Now I will save up everything else for our end of season bash. Get excited!


  1. Wow this was such a hard episode to watch. Who came up with the bright idea to roast the most insecure woman in America? To say that it was a bad idea is an understatement.

    My friend's husband apparently works with Bentley's business partner. According to this business partner a lot of what Bentley said was taken out of context (duh) but still, somethings CANNOT be taken out of context. I'm sure Ashley's hating herself right about now watching all of her confessions of trust, love and security in Bentley. Boo!

    As nerdy as it was to have Ashley get in her grubbies for a date with JP, I was thinking "finally a real life moment!" Way more real life than an African safari (minus all the camera crews of course).

    And finally, I'm actually glad that she kept William. He was a total idiot and played by roast rules and apparently doesn't know how to say sorry, but we all make mistakes and say dumb things right?

    Phew, sorry for that novel. Looking forward to your end of the season wrap up.

  2. I'm so excited! Did you love the line by The Phantom after taking off his mask..."Hi, I'm Jeff."

  3. Yeah, I can't wait to hear what you have to say about mask guy. I'd say that dude also provided plenty of material for his own post.