Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Potty Talk

As one who frequents public restrooms because…

A) I have a bladder the size of a walnut (I hear this is going to get worse with pregnancy, heaven help our tp budget).
B)  I get free unlimited fountain drinks at the hospital
C)  I spend all day at the hospital

…I have an opinion or two about public restroom etiquette.
(I’m no mathematician but B + C = >64 oz/A is enough to make me a self-proclaimed expert on the subject)

As a tween I loved taking quizzes in ridiculous magazines looking for wisdom and truth concerning my personality/face shape/perfect finger nail polish color/crush of the week. I think some of that love may still be lingering because here I am writing a ridiculous etiquette quiz teen people style.

On a totally random side note, looking at tween magazines online just now I ran into this YahooAnswers thread. Heaven help our tweeners. 

What are some teen/tween magazines?

I'm turning 13 soon and I'm getting bored with the magazines that I already have.
Here's some info about me that may help:
I'm goth
I hate kiddie stuff
I'm a very avid reader
I love vampires, black, and you get the idea.....


Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

i love twilight/vampire diaries 2!!!
okay so, seventeen magazine
and you can always look for magazines that have twilight/vampire diaries on the cover(most mags do at least 1-3 issues of twilight related stuff)

What? Where was the sensible response to this girl's plight suggesting that an avid reader such as herself visit the library, or Google books, or download something intelligent to her smart phone, or stay a kid for a while, wear pink, ditch the vampires and be her own woman, or...anything really except this junk. 

Ok back to the bathroom etiquette quiz. 
Disclaimer: Obviously, many of these issues are only relevant to women. I have no knowledge (nor do I plan to seek any) on the bathroom habits and etiquette of the average man. (From what I hear it’s a strange world). 

Scenario 1:
You enter a small public restroom and a woman is definitely checking herself out in the mirror. What do you expect her to do if she is following the social norms of bathroom behavior?

a) Immediately pretend like she was just leaving even though you both know you caught her in the act
b) Continue to pull at her shirt, turn to the side and suck in for a nice profile shot. (Doesn't she look so good?)
c) Make an awkward comment about how she had a rough morning and looks terrible. (Like you were asking...)

Scenario 2:
Your cell phone rings while you are in the bathroom stall. It is socially acceptable to:

a) Answer it duh! You cannot wait for all the juicy details of your sister’s date last night and comment loudly with ooohs and ahhs.
b) Silence your phone to answer it after you leave the restroom
c) Look at the caller ID and mumble to yourself, “why does this person keep calling me.”

1 comment:

  1. So for scenario 1, definitely leave and pretend like nothing happened, like a cat that falls off of something and starts licking itself. Like, why yes, I meant to fall off the refrigerator and land head first, thank you.
    Scenario 2: I would choose B. If it is my husband I might answer, if he has the baby, if they are not with me, in case it is an emergency. Otherwise, you can wait until I am out of the restroom. You don't need to hear me peeing.