Tuesday, April 5, 2011


One of the downfalls of spontaneously moving across town is the delay in the arrival amenities. They are really small things for the most part…

  • An operating kitchen not under construction. For all the complaining I do about hating to cook you would think this would be a tender mercy in my life. I’m here to tell you that you can only eat so many chocolate chips, bathroom tap water, and bananas in one day friends. I don't wish this tribulation on anyone, even cooking-haters.

  • A refrigerator (ours committed suicide in transit).

  • The internet.
I know this will sound extremely lame, so judge me if you must, but life without the internet is a real bugger. I have become an addict who needs constant access to figure out 90’s pop culture references while watching Seinfeld, Google maps to find my way to baby showers every weekend, and video tutorials to help me figure out how to pluck my eyebrows when I’m inspired to do so. In all seriousness, before the internet how did people function? How did they…

  • Try a new recipe without the confidence of user reviews?

  • Know what to make for dinner without any appliances? (Really people, what do I do?!)

  • Notify the public when they go out of town and leave their prized possessions home alone for the taking?

  • Find business’ phone numbers? Look it up in a yellow book you say? That would take forever. Minutes at least!

  • Share crazy college adventure pictures with future employers? They need to know you know how to have a good time right?

  • Figure out what to do with a surplus of holey tights?

  • Magnify their callings?

  • Diagnose their own medical problems and figure out options for medicating themselves?

  • Collect friends they would never talk to in real life?

  • Keep up with photog trends? How would I know that my family needed to take an orchard picture in a colored sofa last year? (Not bashing on this friends, I secretly do want one of these pictures on my very own mantel so feel free to donate to the cause).
If anyone has connections at Comcast please friend me on Facebook stat so I can get some internets at my new house ASAP. I may or may not frex you soon after, don’t take it personal.


  1. Hi there,

    My name is Mike and I work for Comcast. If you would like, send my team an email. Please include the full address where you are interested in service, and a good contact number. Somebody will call you to discuss the best available options in your area. Have a great day!

    Best regards,
    National Customer Operations

  2. Ouch. I heard about the fridge. I am so sorry! I am currently packing and freaking out about our stuff getting bumps or breaks. Did you guys call comcast before you left to get them to come and hook it up? I hope they follow through for us or you know how much Gabe will freak out lol Good luck! looks like you already have some one ready to help :P