*Note: Before I get called a hater, let me just say that if you have a legitimate cause/charity you are passionate about and you have a sticker on your car supporting said cause/charity, I am not talking to you. I fully support you, and so does your car.
I tried to write just one post about car tattoos. I tried hard. But in the end, I found that this topic could be most accurately covered as a three-part series. In this part we'll be discussing:
THE BUMPER STICKER
I keep going back to the thought that every car used to be a new car. Every car once had a new car smell, no miles, a fresh paint job, and was loved and bought by someone. Do you ever think that maybe in parking lots when we're not around our cars talk to each other like in Chevron commercials? And that possibly this car:
is actually really quite lovely, mild, and kind? Do you think that other cars judge this car for the actions/opinions of it's owner? Because really, that's just not fair.
So honestly why? Why do some feel that their cars are the best place to advertise their political feelings:
Or let people know that they're striving to be a moron:
Or show how awesome their sense of humor is:
Or make others feel bad about their physical efforts:
Or a little "less bad" about their physical efforts:
Or to not only make others feel bad about their physical efforts, but to let them know that they also have lots of fit friends:
Note: Why are there no stickers for power walkers or water aerobics attendees? There should be.
Or to let people know that they've been in (fake) gun fights before so don't (fake) mess with them:
My old neighbor had a car that was severely tattooed with bumper stickers. Some were a little brash and offensive, but this dude was just about the shyest person on earth. Really, he could barely say hello. Is the bumper sticker a wimpy way to get your inner feelings out? An interesting experiment for a sociologist. Anyone know a sociologist? (Kasey, our resident social worker...thoughts?)
In conclusion, your car didn't ask you to be it's owner. Don't assume that it wants to be your messenger no matter what that message may be. And don't assume that we all want to read your joke, message, or brag. I'll be bold and say that most of us don't.
Stay tuned for Part 2: The Vanity Plate. Coming soon(ish).