Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Don't Be A Big Loser

Potty training problems, snappy teenagers, discontented in-laws?
I once heard that all things should be likened, like the scriptures, to our lives. It was probably over the pulpit during fast and testimony meeting, so it must be true.
Biggest Loser made-for-T.V. motivational moments promise great one-liners for problem-solving motivation...at least that is what they were originally intended for. On a rare occasion they are motivational, at other times they are just laughable. In the spirit of likening and Big Loser love (as opposed to Sister Love, which I do not endorse), here are some of my favorites. The borderline motivational:
"I know the end of the story and you make it."
Pregnant? Potty training problems? Lindsay, this one is for you.
"At first I wanted to pout and throw a fit… and then I remembered they need a coach (as said by Justin a “real man”)"
This really applies to any mom/wife/boss/friend at all hours of the day
The laughable: *Prepared to be moved people.
“It’s just like a bunch of fattys on a spin bike. Not like fit people.”
Feeling unfit for gym class? Everyone else is just a fatty on a spin bike too, so no worries.
“I need you to feel uncomfortable.”
Getting/giving the silent treatment? Vietnamese-only-speaking manicurist laughing in your general direction? Dinner at the in-laws? The list goes on and on. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right?
"What if it isn't what it is?"
What does this even mean? I’m going to say this one is open to your interpretation; feel free to substitute words seminary style.
What if (my new hair cut) isn’t what (the good news minute) is (all about)?
What if (I never picked up a sock again, would anyone notice)?
“You wanna leave at any time, you can do that. This is not a prison.”
Teenagers? This may apply to you (if it does you are probably not laughing).
“We’re something you know”
A piece of work, a human being, anything really. Feel free to choose your favorite noun mad-lib style.
“That’s a big step for a big man”
Persuaded the husband to make dinner? Attend a ward social? Put down the toilet seat? This is a big deal so be sure to notice.
“Stay tuned for the most emotional weigh in of the season”
Swim suit season is approaching. This is a good reminder to us all to not be like emotional reality T.V. casualties when the day of reckoning comes.

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